Cartel Princess // Marcus Arguello

Chapter 27

Ona

Juan:

Sober Ona recently was already bad, but drugged out Ona was like hell on earth for almost everyone. If Ona didn't like you before, she hated you now. High Ona was like Lucifer himself was walking the halls of kings and picking fun at people to see how long it took them to snap back at her, to give her a reason to throw the first punch; at least in the beginning mostly.

It took me a whole three weeks to realize why she'd been acting off lately. (Snapping at everyone, getting random bursts of energy then getting tired, and falling asleep in the middle of conversations or in the most unconventional places like standing up.) I knew her dad came to visit a few weekends ago and just figured they had some fight she still hadn't gotten over.

That was until I walked into her sniffing up a line of her dads own product (and that shit was strong). I tried taking it away but it was Ona, ella es dificil.(She's difficult) She said she was fine, that it was only a line or two a week to keep the edge off, I knew this was bull but...she'd been through a lot lately and I didn't want to be the one to take the thing helping her get through it.

All I could do was watch her. make sure she didn't get caught by a teacher or Lin, make sure she wasn't doing to much at a time. I found myself having to take her back to her dorm to get her into bed or fed because she just couldn't do it. It was every other day I was pulling her away from a fight or pulling her off of someone she had her knife pointed at. It wasn't long after that the rest the school caught wind of her using again. The gang and I tried our best to keep it contained but everyone at kings had no clue what minding their own business was, so I just hoped everyone would talk about it for a while then forget.

All of Ona's emotions were on a whole other level too. Even the smallest mention of her hermanos or mom made her go mute then later, Ella estaba llorando por eso (she was crying about it) She'd told me more than once that she hated the fact that Marcus could smile while she was hurting. How she wished he hadn't chosen Maria over her, how she was in a way jealous. She'd cry about how she looked and felt and how people saw her. She cried about how she lived, how she felt she really was just la hija del diablo and could never be anything more then that.

Of course, she was way too high to realize she was saying that out loud. I knew she was really hurting even before she started to use again but, Ona was like her dad and brothers, they didn't say how they felt, so she kept it all in and suffered silently like everyone else. I tried talking to her about it when she wasn't as gone but, she denied feeling any type of out-of-character way. Even when I insisted we needed to talk about it she brushed me off, giving me some mediocre job to do.

On the days she's totally gone, I stay with her all day; those are the harder days. These are the days when she's so high she can't hide how she's been feeling. On these days I sit on the floor or her bed with her and hold her as she sobs out. I never really know what to do for her so I just sit there, let her cry, if she needs to yell I let her, if she needs someone to punch or smack I'll be the punching bag for a little. When people complained about the noise I'd shut them up, if they questioned the new bruising on my arms and chest I made up a dumb lie; no one needed to know the real truth.

Pero, she isn't always sad or mad. Most of the time she's laughing with everyone. Have full blown conversations with people while she's totally blown. On those days I can tell her how worried I am, how I think its time she starts getting clean again but she brushes me off, saying she isn't ready yet, she doesn't want to feel for a little longer, she promises soon she'll do it. But it's been two months and soon still hasn't come. The more she feels the more she takes, and today in particular she took a little to much.