Loving you...Isn't always easy - soulmate au (Jinkook, Jihope, NamTaeGi)

Do I still deserve this much hate?

Huge thank you to Punrjani_45 LITERALLY HELPED ME SORT MY STORY OUT. Also read my story almost three times to figure out what needed to be amended. I'm literally so grateful for you! Thank you hun x

Yoongi POV:
I looked at my two mates as they came and sat on my bed. They sat the furthest away and that could mean only two things for someone who overthinks a lot. A) they wanted to respect my boundaries or B) what they were going to say was that they didn't want me anymore.

I mean I voted for A but right now B sounded a lot more realistic. Especially with the way they have been behaving recently.

Taehyung spoke and pulled me out of my thoughts. "Hyung...I think I'm ready".

I  looked at them confused as I took a deep breath.

This time Namjoon was talking. "It's time that we finally sort this out...it's time we finally talk so that we don't create anymore misunderstandings."

Tae spoke again. "it's time to finally let it all go".

I chuckled and said "let what go? All the pain you caused me? All the pain I caused you? The pain we caused each other? It's not that simple anymore Taehyung. It was never going to be that simple".

They both looked down and I said no more. I wanted them to continue. Tae hesitantly spoke "Hyung I'm sorry. Sorry isn't going to cut it I know. Look at you, the way you look, the way you behave the way you're afraid to say anything. ALL OF THIS I CAUSED. I'm very well truly sorry."

I sighed because Taehyung was finally understanding his mistake but I needed to apologise first. "Taehyungah..." he didn't let me finish though because he wanted to talk.

"No hyung let me. I want to say I'm finally ready to let go of all of that. The past and what happened. In fact I was ready a long time ago but I couldn't muster myself the courage to come to you and tell you. You tried so hard at the beginning but I just caused you pain with my words, so you stopped trying then I became jealous, there was no winning with me was there? I hate myself for letting it get this far hyung. I really do".

Then he was crying and I had to grab a fist full of my duvet to stop myself from running up to him and cradling him in my arms.

Namjoon made no attempt to comfort him either since he was too lost in his own world. He looked really bad. He looked like he lost a piece of himself and maybe he did.

Namjoon then looked up noticing the fact that I hadn't said anything. "Taehyung is right, hyung I have no right to ask you this AT ALL but I want you to forgive me. Forgive me for trying to do the impossible. I tried to mediate but I just pushed you away and held Tae. That wasn't what was meant to happen yet I let it happen. I let them destroy me, destroy Tae, destroy you. But most importantly let it destroy us."

I just looked at him with the tears rolling down my face. What did he want me to say? It's okay? Let's rebuild this? Rebuild what? A relationship that was no longer there? The one he let crumble after I made one mistake? Yes! it was a grave mistake but I suffered in silence every day for it.

Do I still deserve this much hate?

"I'm not ready to forgive you guys yet, since I haven't even forgiven myself. I haven't forgiven myself for hurting Tae, for being the reason why this relationship is collapsing. I haven't forgiven myself for everything that I have done. So how can I forgive you?"