I will always be there PART 1

22🥀🌑

*Exclamer*
🥀
Self harm.
Offscreen 🌑
threatening
Chocking
Self harm
*****************

Shinsou POV

As I hear the gunshot and I get quiet...h-he's dead?

The man gets back and looks into the camera.
"Enjoy that for the rest of your life...you just killed an innocent child, good luck finding the body~"

Then the call ends. I stand there my mind is empty...Monoma is....dead. I-I never got to apologize.
I look at Midoria with pure hate, he looks back at me and I just burst out of the room.
I hear Denki run after me but I don't give a flying fuck at this point.
"Hitoshi...Hitoshi...HITOSHI, LISTEN TO ME FOR GODS SAKE!"
He yells and grabs by hand. I turn to him as tears running down my face.
"Go. Away. NOW!!"

He looks at me and shake his head.
"Shinsou listen to me. I know your upset but...you need to see...you could not do anything to save him-"
I cut him off.
"Yes, Denki I know that. I'm not an idiot! But Deku could. Deku could have saved him. He just didn't want to. Because of old gruges against him, he changedd Denki, he really did. SO DONT COME HERE AND SAY WE COULD NOT DO ANYTHING!!"
I yell the last part out.
He looks down, shaking a bit.
"Sorry...I didn't mean to make you angry, I-I just wanted to help"
He say, looking back at me.
"You said it yourself Denki, you could not do anything"
I say coldly and then walk away, leaving him alone.

I get to the rooftop and just sit there on the bench.
My heart was aching. Like I was dying of a heart attack.

(He's gone. I just can't believe that he's gone.
I press my legs to my chest and just burst into tears.
I need him. I want him.
I-I...I love him.
I love him and he's gone.)

I look at my arm and then my pocket.
(no,no,no,no NO!)
My mind keep screaming but I'm just zoned completely out. Nothing matters anymore. He's not here. He's the only thing that's been on my mind the last months...he's my reason, my only reason.
I feel a clean cut. Then another and another, 3, 4, 5.

When I get back to myself I see my right arm was bloody.
I just look down and then cover it up again with my sleeve. I feel so empty. My emotions are just, gone
and my mind is as blank as an unpainted canvas. 
I get to the dorms were I see the other talking,
They were talking about Monoma.
I saw Deku talk to Uraraka.
"Yes it was horrible, but...I think I did the right thing for the both of us"
I walk over to him and he looks up at me.
"S-Shinsou... what is it?"
"What did you just say?"
I snarled at him.
Everyone turns to us as I'm not that easy to piss off.
He swallowed nervous and looks up at me.
"I said, I think I did the best for both Monoma and I-"
He suddenly stops. He's under my control.
"Don't you ever speak about him again you little shit. You killed Monoma it's your fault he's gone AND TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS A HERO, WELL GOOD JOB DEKU REALLY GOOD FREAKING JOB!"
I grab his throat choking him and speak into his mind.
Well hearing the others yelling at me to stop.

'You took my purpose away from me, you deserve to go like he did, that bullet was meant for your useless skull.
I swear to lord If that guy doesn't kill you. I for sure will!'

"HITOSHI SHINSOU, LET MIDORIA GO. THIS INSTANT!"
I look to my side and sees Aizawa sansei erase my quirk.
I feel Midorias quick and hard attempts to breath and let him go. He falls to the floor.
Aizawa let's me go and I walk to my room before I bleed everywhere.
As I fix myself up I hear a knock on my door, Aizawa.
"If I'm expelled, I don't care."
I mumble as I quickly pull down my sleeve.

"Calm down you won't. If it was like that I would have been fired a long time ago"

He sits next to me and Mittens jumps into my lap.
"I'm sorry..."
He says, I look at him.
"what?"

"I should have checked on you earlier, I know how it feels to lose a loved one... it's just so empty inside, right"
I nod as I pet Mittens on his head.
"Yes... I-I never got to tell him something I thought was really important..."
I felt the tears start coming back.
I angrily stroking a few away but my sleeve falls down.
Revealing my bloodstained bandage on my arm.
(Shit)
I really don't want this to happen, he's going to be angry. What if he calls my parents?