ENCHANTED ⇒ jegulus

ONE

A tiny, quiet sigh escapes past James' lips as he rolls over to find that he can not feel anybody beside him. The bed seems to have grown in size since he had fallen asleep in it hours before. "Lily?" He inquires in a sleep ridden voice.

When James receives no reply, he cracks open an eyelid. "Lils?" He hums, hoping she was maybe just in the bathroom. When, once again, Lily doesn't answer; James slowly sit up, raising from the bed. He swallows. He knows exactly where to find his longterm girlfriend.

James softly pads down the hallway. Hesitantly, he opens the door to the room that usually remains closed off to the world. He spots Lily immediately, sitting in one of the seats that had been put there before it had all gone wrong for them.

James remembers the efforts that had gone into that room. For their little one. James recalls how they had almost torn the room apart once they had learned their baby was no longer growing as they should. But Lily had halted that. She wanted to keep everything in it's place. In case, someday, they did have a child.

And James allowed her to do that. Everyone allowed Lily to hang onto that. James had assumed it may only be for a few months, at most. But it has been years.

Lily's shoulders are shaking slightly, she's biting her fingernails, her long red hair swept around her, almost like a shawl. James approaches her, kneeling down before her to finally see her wet cheeks and glassy eyes. "What's wrong, love? What's going on eh?" James questions.

Lily hiccups, squeezing her eyes shut. She sighs, shaking her head. "How...h-how can Sirius' brother be pregnant, blessed with a baby, and then have the nerve to not want it?" She whispers hoarsely and James begins to wonder just how long she has been awake for.

James shakes his head. "Some people aren't supposes to be parents, Lily. We don't know the whole story. We can't really judge-"

Lily swallows. "He's an ex death eater. We can judge. They shouldn't even be allowed to reproduce," She utters through the dark. "They should have all bloody been sterilized, o-or something,"

"Come back to bed, love. You're just tired, you don't mean that," James reasons. Everything Lily does has been reasoned for in the years following the miscarriage. James shakes his head. "That's a nasty thing to say, Lil. Let's just go back to sleep, okay?" He urges quietly.

Lily sobs. James feels his heart ache. She glances at the crib, the one they'd never filled. Lily reaches out, runs her fingers along the painted timber. "I...I just want you to have a baby. James, I know how badly you want this and I-I can't give it-"

James shushes her, embracing her gently. "Lily, honey, it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry to have brought up Regulus Black. I didn't think of how it could trigger things. Let's just focus on something else-" He tries.

James had assumed since Lily had alternated her primary focus onto her work, since she had told him ever so directly that no, she didn't want to adopt Regulus Black's baby, since she had told James that babies weren't for them, James had thought perhaps Lily had given up on their once shared ambitions of babies and tiny, little booties.

"No, no " Lily says wetly, interrupting. "I...I think that it's good you brought Sirius' brother up, someone has to raise that baby-"

"Lily-"

"Let's...let's just think about it, James," Lily pauses to wipe her eyes. "How far along did you say he was?

"I didn't say," James wants to tell her that he wasn't given a chance to say because she had initially protested. "He's in his second trimester. Sirius isn't exactly sure, Regulus doesn't tell him much apparently. They're going to be living together soon. Sirius should know more then,"