"You did what?" Sofia basically started shouting at the girl in front of her, she was basically shocked.
"Just, don't tell Rue, please." Jules and Sofia were at the blonde's house, the younger girl was helping her friend pack her things for a little 'trip' she said she was going to be taking.
"You're joking, right Jules? She's my best friend!"
"I don't want her to hear it from anyone else other than me.. I swear I'm gonna tell her everything about Nate. But not now."
"I literally can't fucking understand what father-son shit is going around in their family." after Jules gave Sofia a very resentful glare, she decided that it was best to just not talk about the matter. "So, where did you say you were going?"
"I'm just visiting some old friends." she said while taking two pink shirts from her wardrobe.
"Does Rue know?"
"Kind of?"
"I swear Jules if she gets all depressed after she finds out you're leaving without her I'm not letting you hang out with her again." the blonde didn't realize that Sofia was being actually serious, and after she did, she just brushed it off with a laugh. "I'm being serious."
"So.. mind telling me a little about you and Ash?" Sofia understood the fact that Jules wanted to drop the subject, so she didn't pester her about it anymore. Instead, it was now about her— and she didn't know what to say. They didn't exactly 'confirm' anything? so she didn't know how to call the relationship that they had.
"What about us?" she acted dumb, but it didn't work. Jules dropped her clothes and jumped on the bed beside the brunette.
"Don't be like that Sofi— you know damn well what I'm fucking talking about! Rue said he was your date for Winter Formal?" she stared teasing Sofia, and she couldn't keep the smile off her face.
"I mean, yeah he was."
"And nothing happened?"
"What do you mean?" Sofia avoided eye contact and tried to stop herself from smiling, but it didn't work. Ashtray was on her mind, and she couldn't control her thoughts.
"Don't lie to me— 'cuz otherwise why would you be smiling?" and as she poked with her finger in Sofia's arm while waiting for a response, they both started laughing.
"Well he kinda told me he likes me?" then, the next minute, Jules had been happy dancing and jumping on her bed, happy for her friend. "Then I kinda kissed him." the happy shouting increased, making Sofia more and more embarrassed.
"So then, you're in a relationship?"
"Well, I guess so?"
"You.. guess so? What the fuck?"
"Well we didn't make anything.. like, official or anything."
"Girl, he's your boyfriend now! 'Official' or not, it's bullshit."
~
The other thing about depression.. is that it kind of collapses time. Suddenly you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop, so you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy, but slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy, and eventually, all you can think about, is how life has always been this way, and will always continue to be this way. That's why I've been maybe ghosting everyone in my life.. but they understood. They always did— especially Sofia. She always took care of me when I needed, and sometimes, I even feel bad that she has to put up with me. I feel like I shouldn't exist.
~
"So.. is Sofia home?" after she and Ashtray left that night, Gia made it a priority to go check on Sofia. She didn't think she'd get caught for making fun of her, but even if she did, she thought Sofia would forgive her, like every other time.
"She's in her room." Maddy knew the relationship between Sofia and Gia, but she knew her younger sister was more then capable if handling her 'friend' now. Especially that Gia needed to know that Sofia was not as weak and as forgiving as she thought.
~
"Get out of my room, please, I do not have time for this." Sofia was on her bed, folding Ashtray's clothes. She found them when she was cleaning out her closet— apparently from that night, when all that 'Mouse thing' happened, she had forgotten to give them back, and so she really did not have time to put up with Gia. "Aren't you supposed to be helping your mom get ready for like Christmas or something?"
"What happened? Why are you so mad?"
"Don't fucking act dumb, Gia, you know damn well why I'm mad. And maybe you don't realize now, but try to think about all the things you've said about me. Do you think, that if you're fucking six feet away from me I will never find out about how you and your friends laugh at me? Do you think I'm that fucking oblivious?"
"Well you definitely seem like you are, since this is not the first time you hang out with us."
"Well, sadly, I hate to say this but we are not so fucking different, Gia. That's the thing we both do— you started hanging out with them because they thought you were cool and shit, and you only want to be popular."
"You just said it with your own mouth."
"At least, I admit that. And I'm trying to keep fake people out of my fucking life, do you understand that? What do you gain, for laughing at me, Gia?" and the girl in front of her stood silent. "Do you get more popular from talking shit about people? Do you? Because trust me, Gia, that you would be no one, without you're little shit group friend that smoke, drink and have sex just because they think it's 'cool' and 'aesthetic'."
"I'm sorry." Sofia noticed the tears that were coming out from her eyes, and how her voice got suddenly low, but she did not care. It was all an act— and she didn't want to believe any of it anymore.
"I think it's best if you leave now."
~
After Gia left, it was Sofia's turn to tear up— she plopped down on her bed, and thought about the conversation she just had. Maybe she was the bad guy? She basically did the same thing Gia did, maybe not really the same, but she had been wrong to hang out with them willingly and then cry about it, when she knew that it would happen eventually. She wouldn't ever admit it, but she really wished she could go back in time and be friends with Gia.
After a few moments, she heard a knock to her window. "Ash? What are you fucking doing here?" she said, while opening the window and allowing him to come in.
"What, are you not happy to see me?"
"Of course I'm happy to see you, but my mom would kill me if she saw you here."
"Your room is pretty cute." he said, taking a sit on the girl's bed.
"Thanks, but please try to not be loud or I'm gonna be literally dead. Not joking." she said, as she also sat on her bed, again.
"Alright.." "Wait, are those my clothes?"
"Oh yeah, actually, I found them in my closet and I forgot to give them back." she noticed Ashtray leaning a bit towards her, and he kissed her. After breaking off the kiss, she decided to ask him the question. "So, is this like an official thing?"
"This, as in what?" the smirk was evident on his face, and Sofia fought the blush that was creeping up her neck because of his flirty personality.
"You know damn right what I'm talking about." she said, and she playfully hit his arm. Ashtray put his arm around her shoulder and practically made her cuddle with him on her bed.
"I'm just teasing ya. Of course it is, whatever you want us to be— you're my favorite person on earth right now." Sofia buried her head in his chest, and they both began smiling. They loved how they were the only ones that made each other feel like this.
"I love this— whatever happened to us in these few months that made us like this."
~
