*everything written in italic words is Rue narrating the story*
~
Maddy knew who she was from a very early age. For as long as Maddy could remember— everybody loved her. She never knew exactly what it was, she just knew that she had something special. Something intangible, something immeasurable; and that gave her confidence. That's why she loves pageantry, because you didn't have to be the prettiest or the tallest or the blondest or the widest. You just had to have that fucking confidence. And she probably would have gone on to win Miss Universe.. if it weren't for this guy.
'That's it you're done. No more pageants. This is sick."
Her dreams were dashed by some random 50-year old creep who didn't molest her, let alone even meet her. She refused to eat for a week out of protest but then she realized how much she liked not doing anything. Maddy would never say it out loud, especially not today because everybody's so political, but she never really had any desire to have a career— or a job. She was just interested in doing what she did, just without school and the other bullshit. Her mother was an esthetician which is a fancy way of saying she gave pedicures to rich people, her dad was a drunk who was always pretending to hold jobs longer then he did, and her little sister, Sofia, was just weird. She never liked to be in the spotlight like Maddy, or to dress up and play house with her, or let Maddy put make-up on her, and she quite literally hated her older sister. She quickly realized that there are two kinds of people in the world. People who sit in the chairs with their feet in the footbath, and people who kneel in front of the footbath. She used to sit and study the women who came in, she'd pay attention to what they wore, what they talked about, and what she realized is that none of them actually did anything. I mean they may have had like children to raise or homes to decorate, but at the end of the day, they literally did nothing. And strangely, none of them had confidence.
She has had a thing for Nate for a while before he finally asked her out. At first he was a gentleman, like flowers everyday kind-of gentleman, and he was smarter then most guys, plus Nate like really loved her. And she did love Nate, she loved her relationship with Nate, she was also a really good girlfriend; and granted, she didn't always tell the truth.
'Are you a virgin?'
Because, the truth truth is that when she was fourteen and on vacation in Panama City Beach, she met a guy— he was like forty.
'Hey, you're from around here?'
Which in retrospect seems kind of rapey and weird, but honestly, she was the one in control.
She could tell by Nate's eyes how much it meant to him that she was 100% his.
'What about like, have you ever been fingered?'
'Only my own.'
And it's not like anyone could feel the fucking difference. Plus, Nate could be a real asshole. And sometimes, Maddy fantasized about punching Nate, but because of who he was as a person, she was afraid he'd hit her back. Especially because he was coming to terms with his sexuality. It's like, the root of a lot of violence. And when she got home that night, she felt sick to her stomach— like, enough to throw up. It wasn't the violence that scared her, it was the fact that she knew no matter what he did, she'd still love him.
And about Sofia, well there wasn't a lot to say about her. And strangely enough, when she got introduced to her older sister's friends and boyfriend (whom she especially despised), they all seemed to like her. She hated how all of them treated her like a baby though— she is only 3 years younger than Maddy. Growing up, Sofia didn't feel the love a kid needed to feel. She always had to follow Maddy and her parents around to all the contests her sister participated in and then had to listen to everyone telling her how proud they are of her. She fucking hated it. Maddy never seemed to notice it and actually care enough to ask Sofia, and always wondered why her younger sister acted the way she did towards her. Every time she tried to hold a conversation with either of her parents it always ended up with either yelling, or throwing objects around their house— so one day, she just stopped talking with them. No one noticed.
