Therrie's Thirty Days of Temperamental Cycle

Chapter 11: Shame

"Kumain ka lang nang kumain. Magpakabusog ka," iyon ang habilin ng kanyang nanay nang yayain itong sumabay sa kanilang hapagkainan.

Therrie doesn't want to make it feel weird kaya sinunod na lang din niya ang sinabi ng nanay niya. She's just putting foods on her plate and it seems like her parents doesn't seem mind what was happening. Wala rin namang ideya si Therrie kung alam ng mga magulang niya na tumakas siya sa mental health facility and the fact that they acted so normal and happy scared her to the core.

"Nasaan na si Zion?" tanong ni Therrie, maiba lamang ang atmosphere sa table.

"Pauwi na 'yon," sagot ng tatay nito nang silipin ang wall clock. "Ang daming gustong i-kwento no'n sa 'yo."

"Mukha nga..." Napangiwi na lamang ito.

Magsisimula na sana silang kumain nang marinig nila ang pagbukas ng pito sa salas hudyat na may pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Inantabayan nila itong makita hangga't sa tumungo ang nakababatang kapatid ni Therrie na si Zion sa kusina. Natulala pa si Zion nang makita ang kapatid. Nanlaki na lamang ang mata nito saka binitawan ang hawak na bag at tumakbo palapit sa kanyang kapatid.

"Ate!" sigaw nito at mahigpit na niyakap.

Napahagikgik naman si Therrie at niyakap pabalik ang kapatid nito. Bakas pa rin naman sa mukha nito na hindi ito makapaniwala. Sumama na rin ito sa hapagkainan.

"Bakit feeling ko tumangkad ka bigla, Zion? 17 ka pa lang naman, 'di ba?"

"Turning 18 na ate next week!"

"Alam ko after 17 ay 18 talaga."

Humalakhak naman si Zion. "Na-miss ko 'yang korni mong jokes, ate. Anyway, kailan ka pa dumating? Bakit hindi ka naman nagsabi na uuwi ka pala ngayon?"

"I do, too... I'm surprised that I'm here..." Pilit na ngiti na lamang ang lumabas sa mukha ni Therrie. Sinaway lang sila ng nanay nila dahil hindi na napapansin ang pagkain kaya itinuon na lang muna nila ang kanilang atensyon do'n.

Ma-kwento si Zion kaya hindi humupa ang ingay sa hapagkainan. Though it keeps the mood light and better, they didn't stop him talking so loud kahit na minsan ay tumatalsik na ang kinakain sa mesa mula sa bibig niya.

Ganito 'yong gusto ni Therrie. Walang pino-problema. Walang inaalalang ibang bagay pero sa kalagayan niya ngayon, hindi lang sarili niya ang kailangan niyang problemahin kung hindi ang mga taong nakapaligid pa sa kanya. Avoiding them could be the best thing she had ever done. Gagawin niya 'yon nang paulit-ulit to keep her mental health stable—well, going crazy is what people thought about her so whatever she would do, they would still label her as Therrie the crazy.

When they finished their dinner, nagpalit lamang sandali ng damit na pambahay si Zion at hinatak na niya ang kapatid niya sa sala para mag-usap nang kung ano-anong bagay.

They've just been talking about a lot of things. School stuff, his crush, and his plan to get a part-time job when he gets into college. They know that it's hard for their parents to support their studies so they do what they can do to help and support themselves. At least, financially.

Therrie wasn't able to stay all night na makipag-chikahan sa kapatid niya. Pinili na lamang niyang makapagpahinga since she needed it the most. She thought her stay here would be bad as she thought it would be pero parang wala lang. It looks like everything is fine. But that's the thing... everything is fine so something is going on and she just can't be confident that this will go fine.

Nothing ever go fine. Not to this day.

The next morning, Therrie prepared herself. Based on her notes, from all the cycle she had before, she should be losing her shame now, but whenever she opens her eyes up, she felt nothing so she doesn't know when her emotion will be triggered.