The Santiago Cartel

Thirty: Papa's Baby, Mama's Maybe

Lani

8 a.m.

This was a sunglasses and Advil type of morning. I was up with Scar all night. He went on a reminiscing trip with him- and Belle. Once that was over he cried. I don't mean silent tears, but he was laid in my lap like a little boy crying his eyes out. All he kept saying, was "I can't lose my baby. I straightened up- and I even stopped dogging women out Lani. God cannot give me a life line and then take away my life support."

I don't think I've ever seen Scar this broken before. It hurts to see him hurting.
August came to get Belle earlier, and it was like she sensed something because she didn't want to leave us. She cried like crazy. It hurt to see my Belle cry like that. God knows she loves her Uncle Aug....darn near his shadow.

We pulled into the parking lot of the court house. I looked over at Scar- and he'd started crying again.

"Baby, will you please stop crying?" I begged, while making my way across the center console.
He shook his head and punched the steering wheel.

"At one point and time I didn't give a shit about anything. I was only concerned about me, myself, and I. Isabelle Leila Jade Santiago made me the man I am. Like Nas said in his song Daughters, "They say the coolest playas and foulest heart breakers in the world, God gets us back, and he makes us have precious little girls. Izzy wasn't a get back though." He sniffled, looking me in my eyes.

"I know she wasn't Simba. Any man can make a baby- but it takes a real man to be a father. Regardless of what happens....Belle knows who has always had her best interest at heart." I replied, while pecking his lips- but he took it upon himself to deepen it.

As we separated he looked at the time. It was about 8:20. Our appointment wasn't until 9. He was fiddling with his phone.

"What you doing babe?" I questioned, while trying to peek at the screen.

Due to his large hands I couldn't see anything. A few minutes of his continuous typing my phone lit up. It was a huge collage. A couple pictures of me, him, and Belle.

I silently read the caption underneath the collage.

It read,
"Many men can make a fortune but very few can build a family. - J.S. Bryan

With that being said I believe I've built one hell of a family. My Princess and my Queen brighten my world. This fight is because Papa and Mama love you endlessly. Not only that, you've been my best friend since you were born. That's like the sky without the moon. You are my star- and I'm not ready to walk blindly through the dark.
With Love, Simba (Papa)🙏🏽💜

I checked the time and we had about fifteen minutes. I quickly typed a reply, and fixed him up a little.

"Babe, bow your head" he spoke, while grabbing my hands and linking them together.
This was a shock because I know Simba believed in God - but I was normally the one doing all the praying.

He cleared his throat.

"Dear Lord, I know I may not come to you often- but once a child of God....you are always a child of God. I just wanted to come to you with a prayer my mom instilled in my mind- and heart when it seemed that things were out of her reach. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. In Jesus name I do pray, Amen." He whispered, opening up the car door so we could make our way inside.