The Santiago Cartel

Thirty-Two: I'm Sorry

Scar
I hadn't moved from my spot since we came back from the hospital. To say I was tipsy would be an understatement. I was too far gone to walk from the living room to the bedroom. Lani went to bed an hour or so ago. However, if my memory serves me right ha little ass will be waltzing through here looking for me. I've drank and smoked so much that the liquor and this blunt ain't doing shit fa me.
I wasn't used to this silence. Shit just made me realize how much more I was attached to my Junior. I shook my head. I wasn't crying no more of those fuck ass tears. Them shits weren't bringing Izzy back.
"Simba, are you still up?" Lani questioned, with her brow raised.
I saw her but I wasn't really seeing her. I felt like I was looking straight through her.
"Natalie, you ever wonder what death feels like?" I questioned, ignoring her initial question.
She looked away for a moment and then nodded.
"Yeah, me too" I stated, while placing the cup of Crown down.
She straight faced me. I shrugged my shoulders, and lit up another blunt only for her to snatch it.
"This what you do Simba? None of this she placed emphasis on this- as she pointed around the room won't help you get Belle back." She yelled, placing her hand on her hip.
I rolled my eyes and threw my hand up as to dismiss her.
"You probably just another fucking Angela. What- you gone trap me with baby number two, and dip the fuck out. All y'all bitches the same anyway." I snarled, glaring at her.
"I always end up on the wrong side of love anyway...that motherfucker named Cupid keep hitting me with the dumb birches arrow. It's cool Nat, I'm good off you. My Crown and my blunt got me if don't nobody else do. Oh, my brothers and mama too. I'm tired of fucking with damaged goods. Get yo shit and get the fuck out." I replied, grabbing my glass taking a sip.
Before I could register what was going on- Lani was on me throwing blow after blow, and screaming obscenities. If my ass wasn't sober....I was now. Her left fist connected with my lip, and her right hook connected with my eye. She wasn't stopping there she continued to swing out on me- but I deserved it.

Lani
Drunken words are sober thoughts. That's what my mama always told me. I knew some of what he was saying was because he was hurt, drunk, high, and partially because he was right back at the point he was when we first met. However, I would be a liar if I said that shit didn't hurt. Then he called me damaged....is that how he really felt. I didn't want to hear another thing he had to say, and before I could stop myself I was tagging his ass. I might laugh at this later....
He finally grabbed me, with intentions of restraining me- but I was on some other shit, and every attempt failed.
"You think I'm damaged Scar? I could say the same fucking thing about you- but that's not me! I put up with everything....I mean everything you do! Yet, I don't complain because I love your green eyed ass-but don't let this situation turn you into some shit that'll have you single." I yelled, poking his chest.
He stared at me like he was really actually seeing me for the first time. And right in front of me that vulnerable little boy from two nights ago resurfaced.
"Lani this shit is fucked up, and I don't think you're damaged-but I've never imagined my life without my little girl. When she was first born I was there....happier than a mothafucker to start my new life.
Ang kept saying she wasn't ready. First it started with her body image, then it was the stretch marks, then she was diagnosed with postpartum depression. We got through that shit, and then it seemed like shit shifted. She left Izzy on the porch- ain't even fucking bother to ring the doorbell.
My mama found her the next morning and nobody knew where the hell she went. Not even her parents. Then they started to see less and less of her. Eventually it was just Izzy and me. I promise I ain't meant none of that shit I said-but my past with Angela have me apprehensive about a lot of shit....especially now." He cried, while holding on to me.
I ran my hands through the mess of curls that were continuously growing longer everyday.
"Baby, I promise this is just a set back for a major comeback. We will get Belle back, but you drinking and smoking yourself into a stupor won't help." I muttered.
He tightened his grip on my waist and broke down even more. I didn't know what to say because I'd never met a man- or anyone for that matter who loved their child harder than Simba. I wanted to fuck her ass up royally for the bullshit she pulled. He was crying so much he started to hiccup.
"Lani ba-be, promise me if you ever get pregnant you won't leave me, you won't come back and take my son, or daughter. Lani please, baby, I can't take that pain twice. I vowed I wasn't going to love after Ang, but you got my heart Lani. Even in the broken state its in now...you got that Lani." he mumbled from my shirt.
I wasn't used to this Simba, this wasn't my Simba, and it was all because of a conniving, jealous ass bitch.
I ran my fingers through his hair, and kissed the top of his head trying to find the right words to say.
"I would never do that to you Simba. No matter how much you can piss me off. Every child deserves a chance of having a family. You had one, I had a mother- so Belle will have that same opportunity. I answered, while rubbing his head.
He shook his head as I felt my shirt getting wetter.
"You ain't promise though Lani, you gotta promise me" he whispered, looking up at me now.
I was trying so hard not to laugh, but he legit looked like the dog Wishbone with that purple reddish ring around his eye. I knew when he saw it that would be my ass.
"I promise Simba, I'm not going anywhere. Now you gotta promise me-you'll stop with this shit you doing." I replied, wiping the tears from his face.
"Lani I don't know no other way to deal with this shit, and if I deal with it- the way I really want to yo ass gone be out of commission for a month or two." he replied,not blinking.
"I know yo legs is how you make your living, so I ain't tryna do that shit to you." He added, sighing a little bit.
I giggled at the grumpy look on his face
"Come on Simba, let's go to bed" I spoke, as he lifted off of me.
He stood up and stumbled a little bit. I grabbed his arm and put it around my shoulder.
Scar
"Lani your ass can't take me from here to the bedroom. I ain't trying to hurt you ma" I stated, trying to take my arm back.
She hit me with this stern look like shut the fuck up I got this. I didn't say anything else- but to my surprise she got me to the room in one piece.
"Lani I need to brush my teeth, and piss real-quick." I spoke, getting up.
She got this weird look on her face for a moment.
"Fuck wrong with you Lani? I inquired, trying to read her expression.
She shook her head and bit her lip.
"What if I bring your toothbrush and a cup, and I'll get you a bucket to pee in." She explained, making her way around the bed towards the bathroom. I swung my arm out and caught her by the waist.
"Lani I ain't peeing in no fucking bucket. Bad enough you had to help me to the room. I'm good, I think I just jumped up too fast." I grumbled, letting her go and walking around her.
I got to the bathroom and flipped the light on. I peed, and grabbed my wash cloth to wash off a little. In the process something caught my attention. I looked closer, and realized I was staring at a damn black eye. I smirked. That's why Lani little ass ain't want me to go to the bathroom. I ain't gone lie, Lani had a mean ass hook on her.
I walked out the bathroom, and she had the cover pulled up to her neck with her eyes squeezed shut. She wasn't Izz mama by blood- but they damn near could be. Izz ass did the same thing when I told her to go to sleep.
"Lani ya ass ain't sleep. Open ya eyes, got me walking around looking like Barney baby brother and shit" I chuckled, pulling the cover back.
"Lo Siento;Yo no hablo inglés," she replied, with this confused look on her face.
"I bet you I whip this hablo dick out you'll know English then lil nigga." I answered, while sliding under the covers.
That got a small chuckle out of her. I shifted, and pulled her legs apart. And she scrunched her face up a little. I don't know why she tripping- I sleep like this every night.
"Scar, what's the point of this?" she grumbled, letting out a small moan as I slid balls deep into my favorite place to be.
I shifted twice causing her to moan again, and finally got comfortable. No matter what I always had to sleep and wake up inside of Lani. I never wanted to do that shit with anybody- not even Ang's nagging ass, and she gave me my twin. I pondered on that question for a moment because I truly had no idea. It was just something about that shit.
"I don't know babe- I always think you're going to disappear, or some shit- so this shit gives me comfort and let's me know you not gonna leave me. The best way I could really describe it is....How Yung is with his hoodie, and his shades. It's his comfort zone-his thing ya know" I explained, hoping I was making some type of logical sense.
"Whatever you say Simba" she whispered, letting out a yawn.
"You sleepy?" I questioned, placing a small kiss on her neck.
"Yes, that ass whooping got me tired" she giggled, letting out another yawn.
"That shit is not funny Lani. How it sound telling someone my girl beat my ass." I stated, rolling my eyes.
"You hurt my feelings, and that wasn't funny either. Losing Belle has you in a horrible space, and I don't like that space at all. This isn't the Scar I know. I'm not saying you shouldn't be hurt, but don't let your past start making you doubt me, our relationship, or my loyalty. Furthermore, only a selfish woman would leave her child-someone that was conceived out of love, and carried for 9 months. Children are the biggest blessings you could ever receive." she remarked, but I could tell my words truly did hurt her feelings.
I laid there for a moment thinking about everything she said, and everything I said to her earlier. I meant none of that shit, and I'm mad at myself for allowing Angela to make me that angry.
"I'm sorry babe, I ain't mean none of that foul shit I said, I gotta clear my head of all this negative shit- and focus on the important-which is getting Izz back. I love you Natalie." I spoke, waiting on a reply-but never got one. I rose up- and realized she'd fallen asleep.
I laid back down getting comfortable again.
I listened to her heart beat for a few minutes before closing my eyes. Her right hand went to my hair massaging my scalp.
"I love you too, Simba" she whispered.

A/N: Hey Hey! I just finished this chapter. I typed it all on my phone because I've been trying to stay on top of my homework. I have no room to fall behind this quarter.😁 Excuse all mistakes, and I hope you enjoy babies. Oh, yeah this has been finished in my drafts since 2-but I wasn't sure what to title this chapter....still don't.😩😂😘 -C.Pacino & s/o to @mamagical for my new cover.💜💜