sarah paulson character - one shots

you're not alone(Ally Mayfair-Richards)

Info: You got diagnosed with generalised anxiety when you were fourteen. Ever since then, you had been to countless therapists and counselling groups. You were going to another one, believing it would be no different, until you met  𝘩𝘦𝘳.

Trigger warning: Anxiety, swearing, panic attack!

Italics(𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸) are your thoughts!

I stopped the car in a parking space and shut the engine off. I sat and pondered the situation. 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵? 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘯? 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦? I closed my eyes and rested my  forehead on the back of my hands which gripped the steering wheel. I took a deep breath before grabbing my phone that was face-down the passenger seat and got out the car. My shoes made light footsteps accompanied by the sound of the fairly busy but distant town. There was only a few cars in the parking lot so I didn't expect to see many people at this session. I itched my palms and cracked my knuckles as it was a bad habit caused by my anxiety. I didn't even notice until my hands stung from the irritation and I looked down to see my red, swollen palms. I gulped and put my hands in my pockets to stop myself from hurting myself anymore.  

I pulled the big, heavy door open and began walking down the eerie hallway. The light illuminated a dim yellow glow and it flickered every few seconds. The humming sound from the light could faintly be heard over my footsteps on the old carpet. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦. I kept walking down the painfully long corridor. I reached a wooden door with a old, rusty door handle. I exhaled in defeat and twisted the door handle, only to be greeted by a fairly large room. A circle of chairs was in the centre and a small group of people where sat. At my entrance, they all turned to look at me and I froze in place. "H- hi." I smiled shyly as my face burned red. That's when I noticed a woman. She smiled in such a way that I felt safe looking at her. "Hey there. Please, take a seat." She patted the seat next to her and I awkwardly shuffled to sit down.

"I'm Ally, it's nice to meet you." The beautiful woman smiled at me and stuck her hand out in front of me. "I'm (y/n), nice to meet you too." I shook her hand gently and tried my best to seem comfortable, but really I was nervous. What I didn't know was that she saw this too. She held my hand on my lap and squeezed it reassuringly as we focused on the host. I felt less anxious and more secure holding her hand as I squeezed it back. "So, why don't we introduce ourselves? Would you like to go first, ma'am?" Ally smiled at him and nervously cleared her throat. "Ok well, hi everyone. My name is Allyson but people call me Ally for short. I have anxiety that gets triggered by phobias, so I'm here hoping that I can get a little better." Ally took a deep breath after she finished talking and before the man began talking again. "Ok well it's nice to meet you Ally, thank you for joining us." He shot her a smile before continuing.

"Would you like to go next miss?" He asked me and I gulped before nodding my head nervously. Ally squeezed my hand as if to tell me to go ahead. I took a long breath before I began speaking. "Um, hi everyone," Ally let go of my hand and watched me as I spoke. "I'm (y/n) and I'm here because- well I'm not entirely sure. I got diagnosed with anxiety a long time ago and I've tried to help it for years but nothing has ever worked. So I don't even know why I'm here if it won't help. I'm starting to think maybe this isn't worth it to be honest." I looked down at my hands as I picked my nails. Ally reached her hand over and grabbed mine to stop me from continuing. I looked at her and saw her examining my eyes with worry in hers. "Are you ok?" She whispered and I just looked at her with furrowed brows. "Excuse us for a moment." Ally spoke in the hosts direction as she stood up and began walking to the door with me following close behind.

Once we got back outside, I began having a panic attack. 𝘕𝘰, 𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸. I grabbed the railing to the concrete stairs outside the building and clung tightly to them as my breathing became rapid. I couldn't focus on anything around me as the panicked thoughts flooded my mind. That was until I felt someone rubbing my back accompanied by a familiar, distant voice. I began coming back to reality only to realise it was Ally. "Hey, hey. Come on (y/n), you're ok. Don't worry I'm here with you, you're safe." Her words of reassurance as well as her calming voice managed to relax me enough to look at her. She smiled through her nervous façade as she rubbed my back with her left hand and her right hand cupped my face, grazing her thumb over my cheek carefully. My heavy breathing sub-sided as I followed Ally's very useful breathing exercise.

Ally moved her hand down so it was around my waist as she began walking, leading me with her. "Wh- where are we going?" My raspy voice sounded as we began walking to the sidewalk. "I don't think it would be a good idea to go back in there, do you?" I shook my head at the thought of being in front of an audience again and walked with Ally. We kept walking until we reached a calm, quiet park and we took a seat at a bench. It was a nice day so it wasn't too hot nor cold, just perfect. The birds chirped and flew in the bright, blue sky as I looked up at them in adoration. "Thank you so much Ally," I looked down and grabbed both her hands while smiling. "You helped me a lot and I couldn't begin to thank you." She smiled and chuckled softly. "It's fine sweetie, 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚. I know exactly how you feel and what I would have done for someone to help me at a time like that." I laughed lightly and nodded. "Yeah, it sucks. But maybe we could help each other from now on?" Ally smiled at my words and squeezed my hands in response. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭.

a/n - ahh hi everyone, sorry for the minimal updates ive been quite busy but im back and ready to write!! hope you all enjoyed this one shot, i enjoyed writing it! have a good day/night, i love you all sm <333