Torn Between Three Me's

8 - Hold On Tightly

The next morning, Fred, George and I were late to our last class, unable to find the proper staircases to lead us from Gryffindor Tower to the dungeons. When we finally got to our potions classroom, the only seats left were in the back row. We quickly sat down as we saw the professor walking in. It was Professor Snape, the one from the feast the night before.

'Open your books to page 124. No dilly dallying, no speaking, cauldrons at the ready. I am not in the mood for whiny, immature, half-witted first years this morning.'

The twins and I grimaced at each other as we silently took out our books.

'Work through the forgetfulness potion in your books. Please...try not to have questions,' he sighed stressfully.

Sitting on the end, I worked with Fred, and George worked with Lee. 'What's got him all riled up?' Fred whispered.

I shrugged. 'Percy and Charlie did say to watch out for him.'

'Potter!'

I jumped, hearing my name being shouted from across the room.

Snape all but flew over in front of our bench and leaned over closer to me. 'What did I say about not speaking?'

I pressed my lips together and gulped. 'Not sure, professor. I think this potion's making me forget things,' I said, my voice quivered.

Fred, George, and Lee all smirked, containing laughter as they snorted.

Snape looked over at them furiously and then back at me. '5 points from Gryffindor.'

The boys all snickered to themselves.

'Each!'

'What?' Lee gawked.

'You heard me, Jordan.' He huffed. 'And Potter.'

'Yes, sir?' I asked, starting to get scared.

'I'll see you after class.'

'Why? You already took points.'

'For you blatant disrespect for authority!' He shouted.

'But...' my mouth gaped as my brain searched for words. 'Where...when...you were...'

I furrowed my eyebrows at him as we looked each other in the eye, his face somewhat softening, almost...worrying. Then he suddenly turned away from me abruptly and walked away. 'See me after class, Miss Potter.'

The twins and Lee all stared at me down the row. 'Woah!' Fred mouthed. I shook my head at him and we went back to our work in silence. Fred took over much of the work as I was distracted now. I worked harder to remember the strange character and figure out why he looked so familiar.

***

At the end of class, the boys waited with me in the back of the room until everyone else had filed out. 'What do you think he's going to do to you?' Fred asked.

'Don't know,' I admitted.

'Think he'll have you do physical labor?' George asked.

'Or maybe he's more into physical punishment,' Lee nodded with wide eyes. 'String you up by your ankles, and let you hang there while the blood rushes to your head!' He sounded a little too excited.

'Or maybe he'll chop off a finger for every detention!' Fred exclaimed.

'Or maybe-' George started.

'Miss Potter,' Snape called from the front of the classroom.

'That's my queue,' I gulped. 'Prepare bandages, ice, healing charms.'

'We don't know any healing charms,' Fred said. 'It's our first day.'

'Ask Charlie!' I said, pushing them out the door on their heels. I took a deep breath and then turned around to Snape, who was sorting through the ingredients on his back wall. I walked up behind him.

'Professor?'

'Miss Potter. There's a box in the closet of assorted potion ingredients. Please bring it over here and sort them into the proper jars.'

I paused for a second. 'That's all?' I asked.

'For now, yes. Is there a problem?' He turned around to look at me.

'No! It's just...that's not what I was expecting.'

'What did you have in mind?' He grumbled.

'Um...nothing, sir-professor!'

He let out a sigh of irritation. 'Get to work. Oh, and mind you. Some of the substances are particularly...uncooperative. So I suggest you hold on...tightly...to them? Off you get.'

My mouth gaped. My head, heavy and overwhelmed. I stared at him as everything made sense. 'It was you.'

'What was me, you silly child?'

'That night. You...you were there.' I cocked my head slowly. His face started to relax as we looked into each other's eyes. 'You were crying...for my mum. You're Sevis.'

'It's Severus,' he grumbled. He took a deep breath and though he was still quite tense, he wasn't like he was before. He started to open up ever so slightly, some small essence of a barrier around his guarded heart seemed to fade. 'But while you're my student, you address me as Professor Snape, do you understand?'

I nodded.

We stared at each other for several more seconds and then finally he broke the tension.

'You bear a striking resemblance to your mother.'

'That's what people tell me. I don't really remember her,' I admitted.

'Just like her. And your father's eyes.'

'Yes, sir.' I nodded. 'How did you know her, if I may ask?'

'You may not ask!' He growled.

I smirked back at him.

'You wipe that smile off your face this instant!'

My smirk grew wider and wider until I was smiling, chuckling at him. 'Why do you act like this? You were so much nicer that night.'

'I was...emotionally distraught. It clouded my judgment.'

'So you're saying you wouldn't have taken me to my new family otherwise?'

He messaged his temple stressfully. 'You definitely inherited your father's insesant poking! His unfathomable need for knowledge that was none of his own business.'

'I'm a curious person.' I grinned.

'Well, stop that.'

I started to laugh, putting my hand to my mouth to suppress the little snorts. 'You were kind to me. You're not...' I waved my hand up and down, towards him. 'This. Standoffish, reserved, bitter.' I shook my head confidently.

'I assure you I am.'

'Maybe you just became this way then from losing my mum if you knew her and lost her?' I suggested. 'I mean, you were sobbing pretty desperately. More than me and I'm the one who lost my whole family. I didn't understand what was going on enough to cry.'

'Listen here, Potter!' Snape shouted as I quickly quieted down, somewhat startled. 'If you tell anyone about that night, how you remember me, the state I was in...I will personally see to it that you do not pass my class or any other class here at Hogwarts. Do you understand me?'

I smiled at him warmly and nodded. 'Your secret's safe with me, Severus,' I said, walking away towards the supply closet.

'That's Professor Snape!'

'Yeah, okay,' I called. 'Thanks for giving me my new family, Severus.'

'It was for her, not for you.'

'Yeah, uh-huh. Okay.'

As I rounded the corner into the closet, I heard Snape mumble, 'please, Lily, help me get through these next seven years with her.' I smiled at him. He must have been a different person at some point to be friends with my mum. Everyone always told me how kind she was. There must be something in him that my mother had seen if they'd been friends. He surely couldn't have been purely bitter, malicious, and spiteful like he came across.