Heart of Stone [On Hold]

17

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(y/n) sighed as she opened her eyes once more, feeling that the spot next to her was empty and cold and she knew she was alone once more as Loki left in the early morning. Well, what she thought was the early morning. It was hard to tell when you are floating around in space with no way to tell the time or day. It was just an endless sea of stars and darkness, a vast silence that made it feel like it had been years since (y/n) and Loki stepped foot on the ship.

She didn't know if it actually had been years, or maybe it was a few days, a few weeks, months maybe? She had no clue on how to tell the time. It felt suffocating to not know where you were going, to not have any sense of time. It was slowly killing (y/n), slowly making her lose her sanity if Loki wasn't there with her. He was the only one that kept her sane, the only one that made her feel like everything will be ok when he held her in his arms.

Bit even those precious moments were getting slimmer and shorter, Loki slipping off every time Thanos had called for him. Loki thought that he was leaving when (y/n) was asleep but she was always awake when he was called to leave her, like another sense she developed to ensure she survives when she has to be alone.

(y/n) turned around to stare at the empty side of the bed, neat and tidy just like Loki has always left it. She lost count of how many times he left her, to be forced to go see Thanos. And every time he left her, a little bit of Loki slowly chipped away. (y/n) slowly noticed the dark bags forming beneath his eyes, the sickly paleness of his skin and the ill symptoms from his body every time he returned back to her. He didn't look like himself, his eyes slowly turning bluer and bluer, losing their shining emerald shine to a dull ocean colour. 

Sometimes Loki would return back to (y/n) with stains on his armour, with splotches of red on his hands. (y/n) was afraid to ask, afraid to activate a dormant and growing monster that was bred through whatever torture Thanos put Loki through. She was afraid to lose him, sometimes her staying awake to calm Loki to sleep as he trembled in her arms. There were days where (y/n) asked Loki, asked what Thanos made him do but she knew he couldn't answer so she just made sure to hug him close and let him know she would always be there for him.

Loki knew he was losing himself, losing his mind the minute he took hold of the sceptre that held the Mind Stone. The endless whispers and the screams that plagued him every day. They suffocated him, slowly chipped away at his sanity and he was afraid to lose control. He was trying to win a losing battle against Thanos who already had a grip on his mind, to make him do unspeakable things that ate away at his soul and his mind that kept him awake almost every night.

Loki was unwillingly succumbing to the whispers of evil and vengeance, of violence and the cravings of bloodshed every time he stepped out of his room to work with Thanos. The only time he felt like himself was when he was with (y/n), only her touch was his saviour to keep the whispers far away. He felt safe in her arms, felt like his true self every time he held her while she slept or while she hummed softly while running his fingers through his hair. Loki would kill anyone that saw him this weak and vulnerable with anyone but he was blessed to have (y/n) keep his sanity as long as she could while Thanos fought over his mind.

Loki knew that (y/n) was the only one to be able to bring him back from the grasp of the Mind Stone and he knew Thanos has already figured that out too. He was afraid of what the mad titan would do to his dróttning, afraid that he would harm her. His suspicions were unfortunately correct when he overheard Thanos command a guard to take care of (y/n). With whatever shred of sanity he had left, Loki devised a plan to save her.