A Strange Feeling

21| Disaster

Chapter 21: Disaster(Erik's POV)

"Excuse me?" she raised her brows at me.

"I can't let those people ruin your life. They won't stop! Ever!" I slammed my hands on the desk. I never thought I would say those words to her. I broke my promise to protect her and to make her happy, again. I put her in a royal drama, again. She was suffering because of me, again. And I was responsible for it, again.

She narrowed her eyes at me, looking at me furious, the vein on her forehead appeared and I knew she was extremely mad. I expected a punch at any moment, but I didn't get it. I kind of wanted that, it would have been a nice back to reality punch.

"Who are you to decide whether I'm going home or not?" her voice was frightening calm. She looked at me with her proud but furious eyes and that sent cold shivers down my spine.

"I just don't want to hurt you, not anymore" I shook my head.

She grabbed my chin and turned it so I can face her "You are not hurting me, you never did, keep that in your mind" she paused "You are not responsible for your uncle's actions, keep that in mind as well" she tapped my cheek a few times "And you are not the one who decides whether I'm going home or not. Unless if that's what you truly want"

I stayed silent and narrowed my head.

"Do you really want me to leave?"

"It will be the best for you" I said with lowest tone possible. I didn't want her to leave, I would never wish that. But I couldn't leave her to the hungry citizens waiting to tear her apart, mentally if not physically. My father was so worried that it would be me hurting and humiliating her, but he never thought about his own brother or his own people. But at the end of the day it was clear that we all failed her, and God made sure to remind us that this was real life, not some fancy fairytale.

"Erik" she said but I put a finger on her mouth, "Please Ana, I can't watch you drowning in royalty and hatred just because I want you near me".

She pointed a finger at me, giving me a threatening look "I am not going anywhere. Do you understand?" she hissed.

"Okay then. If you won't I will" I got up and rushed towards the door.

"What!? Erik, stop!" she yelled to me, following me through the door. I started going faster down the stairs and she ran after me, "Erik! Listen to me!" she screamed. But I didn't listen, instead I rushed out of the palace and entered my car. I closed the doors and quickly drove outside of the gates. I saw Cassian getting out of the palace and talking to Ana. Moments later he was behind me with his car, honking and waving with his hands at me. I didn't stop I just pressed the gas and we raced for fifteen minutes until we reached the train tracks. The lights flashed red and the gates went down signaling the train approaching but I didn't want Cassian to reach me so I just rushed through the tracks and broke the gates. The train passed moments later and by the time it went through the crossing, I was so far away that Cassian couldn't see me anymore.

I sighed deeply and loudly. I slammed my hands on the steering wheel a couple of times. 

My head was full of shit, I didn't know what to think or what to do. I didn't even know where I was going, I just wanted to be alone. I couldn't handle the pressure that I put on myself. I was so disappointed and ashamed of myself that I couldn't even stand myself. Literally if I could I would've punched myself several times.

I didn't know how Ana handled the situation, and I knew I did a stupid thing to leave her there. But I wanted a fresh air. Promises are big deal for me, everybody knew that. When I couldn't keep my promise to make Ana happy, safe and at peace I snapped.

After two-hour ride I stopped at another small forest house that we own. I opened the door forcefully because I didn't get the keys and when I entered I put a chair on the door to keep it closed. I rubbed my face with my hands and went with my hands through my hair messing it up. I sat on the small couch and groaned. The groan grew into a scream.

I pulled my phone out of the pocket and I noticed hundreds missed calls from everyone. I ignored them and opened the article that I read earlier. They will find me either way, we don't own many houses in the region.

The comments weren't any better than before, people were hating on Ana, calling her a nasty gold-digger, a whore, an ugly ignorant bitch and many more disgusting names.

I closed my eyes for a second and held my fist tight. My phone started ringing again and I just tossed it on the table.

I must find a way to make the people see the truth. I can't lose her.

My mind was coming to a peace, minute by minute and I started thinking with cold head. I can use the man that my uncle hired to kill Ana, we have enough evidence for that. The dagger, the security cameras, even Sebastian can speak up and tell everyone the truth. I dozed off after having a war of thoughts inside my head.

I woke up by the noise of my phone, it was ringing again, constantly. This time my father was calling, and I decided to answer, "Yes father"

"Finally... Erik, please come home," he said calmly.

"Leave me alone father, I need to sort things out in my head"

"But running off is never a solution"

"I just need to be alone!"

"Erik you are overreacting, we are all upset but no one actually worries like you. Even Ana is okay with people sending her nasty messages, but she is worried most about you" he explained.

"Do they send her private messages?"

"That's not the point of the conversation" he paused, "we need you, she needs you"

"What kind of messages is she receiving?" I asked angrily.

"Some people send her death threats and a lot of insults"

I bit my tongue "Erik" my father said but I ended the call. I squeezed the bridge of my nose, rubbing the place with my fingers. I proceeded to rub my fingers up to my forehead and then spread them on the sides, giving myself a quick massage. My head was pounding and my eyes were sore. I leaned back in the couch and suddenly the thoughts in my head became louder and angrier, they even formed in different faces and voices. I didn't know if I was going insane or I was just tired.

I was half awake and half asleep when the face of my grandfather appeared "Don't lose hope Erik, the sun comes right after the storm"

That was the last thing I heard or hallucinated before I fall asleep. 

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What to you think about this mess?

Even though I'm writing the story I feel sorry for Erik, the only thing he wanted was to be happy with Ana :(