My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 176

I check that Hope is happy to watch over May when I go downstairs, I asked her earlier about how she knew so much about this stuff but she just ignored me and tucked my sister further into her unrelenting hold, I can't push it.

I tell May I'll call her to come down after I've spoken to them all, something she seems reluctant to do but that's her role to play right now.

May rests peacefully in Hope's arms, leaning her head against her chest as the two of them wrap themselves around each other. Hope hasn't been able to say a lot at all actually, or maybe that's a choice because she knows that May isn't up to talking much either right now, I appreciate her being here more than she knows.

"I'll come up and get you if it's easier, just let me talk to them all first." I try my best to sign along with my words but I'm pretty sure I'm making mistakes by the small smile that's spreading on Hope's face before she nods, I am grateful that she doesn't verbally point out my incompetence.

Brie got here first, when she realised it was about May she tried to barge her way into the bedroom, but I told her if she wanted any hope of fixing this shit with her sister then she needed to wait downstairs for everybody else.

When I get back down there I see that Brie and Steve are now sitting on their couches, Liam at the table with his tablet and headphones, dropping it immediately when he sees me and racing across the room into my arms.

My little man.

I squeeze him tighter than I ever have before, we've been talking online through his Xbox but it's not the same as having him here with me. I've fucking missed him so much.

I glance around the room looking for Josh but it becomes clear where he is when the front door opens again and he walks in practically dragging Lee with him, she's almost shouting and fucking screaming too get away from his hold but he doesn't let up.

His eyes lock with mine as I gently lower Liam back to the floor, the urge to run over there and fucking kiss him is taking over my body but we have time for that later. Right now this isn't about us. It's about May.

Instead I give him that look that only he ever sees, the one that usually turns him into a puppy that just wants me to smother it with attention, making him smile slightly before he pulls Lee into the middle of the room.

"Where's Jayce?" Lee doesn't even make eye contact with me, or anybody else in the room, seemingly ignoring my question as she shuffles her way out of Josh's grip and walks to lean against the back door instead.

"He's in the car with the kids, what's this about?" I love Lee, I really fucking do, but sometimes she can be a right little fucking brat.

She's trying to act like she doesn't give a fuck right now, I can see the anger is still strong within her but she wouldn't have taken a step inside if a part of her didn't care. She also can't help letting her eyes drift all over this house, a million memories flooding behind her vision.

I still remember the first day that I walked in here, it looked really different back then, a bit worn down and still filled with the furniture that Lee had growing up. I thought it was so cool, having lived in the Manor with only friends that had houses that size, I thought this place was like a dolls house or something.

She seemed so at home here, far more than she ever did at the Manor. It's funny how we all call it that now, at one point in my life I just called it home. Now, that's a very different place. A very different person.

"Josh, can you go get him please?" Josh turns ready to walk back out but Lee immediately stops him.

"No fucking way are my children coming in this house. I don't even want to be in this fucking place. Tell me what the fuck is going on or I'm leaving." I look over at Brie, waiting for her to snap back at my sister but she doesn't say a fucking word, Steve locking his fingers with hers.

She's fucking shaking but it has nothing to do with anger.

She's hurt.

Lee treating her and her home this way, like either of them are any risk to the children that Brie loves so much, it's fucking killing her.

Josh doesn't give a fuck though, he can see that I'm not messing around here so he just opens the door and shouts out to Jayce.

"I said that they aren't-"

"I don't give a fuck what you said Lee, this isn't fucking about you right now!" Lee almost stumbles taking a step back, trying to escape my vicious tone. I've never spoken to my sister like that, I didn't even fucking like the way it sounded coming out of my own mouth but the look that everybody is giving me right now shows that it had the fucking desired effect.

You will all listen to what I have to fucking say whether you like it or not.

Heather bounds straight into the room, she smiles widely at Liam but it's the look on her face when she realises that Brie is sitting there that truly crushes me. The both of them looking at each other pleadingly, desperate to be in each others arms.

She glances over at her mother, I watch the tears form in Brie's eyes but she makes no move to try and snatch that little girl from the floor, as much as I can see she's dying to. She respects Lee's right to make decisions about her own children but it doesn't make it easier. Heather takes a tiny step towards Brie, staring at her mother the entire time and waiting for her reaction before taking another, then another. If I had it in me I'd laugh at my niece's poor attempt to be stealth, I can see Lee's walls tumbling down as a tear falls onto Brie's cheek, her hand clenched in Steve's trying to keep her from running to the little girl that wears her own name.

"It's okay Princess, go." Jayce speaks, not even looking to his wife's reaction. Heather doesn't take so much as a second to process before running full force into Brie's open arms.

They've missed each other, they've missed each other so fucking much. Brie lived with them until Heather was three, she's practically been a second mother to that girl. This separation has been destroying them both.

Even Steve looks fucking emotional when he wraps his arm around the two of them, rocking back and forth as Brie does everything in her power not to sob uncontrollably into the little Princess that she can't stop hugging.

"I've missed you so much Auntie Bee Bee." Brie can't even answer her, just holding her tiny head against her neck and kissing her cheek like she doesn't know when she'll ever be able to hold her again.

That isn't happening, this rift is being sealed today. I'm fucking done with it.

Liam can see that Heather won't be leaving the comforting arms of her aunt anytime soon. He goes into his school bag and pulls out his spare headphones, walking over to the couch silently and slipping himself onto Steve's lap before offering Heather her own way to watch whatever he's playing on his tablet.

Josh and Steve stare at each other, I have no idea why until it suddenly hits me - Liam has never done this before, he's never gone over to sit with Steve.

There's always been this unspoken barrier between the two of them, something that was put in place by circumstances outside of either of their control, but I'm very fucking happy to see coming down. They deserve that bond, they're brothers, nothing should come between that.

Jayce lowers Chase still dozing in his car seat onto the coffee table, he looks so peaceful when he sleeps, a total contradiction to the little shit I know he's going to grow up to be. There's too much Thompson in that one, maybe a little Wilson too.

"Okay Milo, you've got us all here, what's this about?" I wanted Mum and Dad to be here too but they're Christmas shopping with Coach and Liz in NYC, maybe that's a good thing actually because this is really a situation between this lot.

"I need to talk to you all about May." Lee's hand immediately falls to her bump, almost as if the name of my sister will somehow cause harm to her children. She looks at me, burrowing through my skull before grabbing her handbag off the side and walking back towards the front door.

"That's not a fucking emergency Milo. I thought something was actually fucking wrong. Come on Heather, we're going." Heather doesn't hear a word she says, happily watching whatever Liam is with her headphones secured over her ears.

"Lee, walk out that fucking door right now and we are done. You will no longer be my sister." That makes her pause, it should because I fucking mean it. "I get why you're angry, I really fucking do, but you don't understand what nearly happened here today."

"I don't give a fuck what happened here today Milo! Unless that girl nearly killed another fucking kid, she's no fucking concern of mine." Everyone in the room flinches at the sound of her tone, but I don't think all of them can see the look in her eyes up close like I can. She's got her guard up firmly but I can see straight through it, it's that stupid fucking thing again.

Fear.

She's afraid. Afraid of what happened, afraid of losing another child, afraid of letting May back into her life. She's just afraid.

"Actually, she nearly did kill another fucking kid." They all snap their attention to me, I'm trying to sound strong, I really am, but the image of May throwing up a stomach full of pills as she shakes and cries in the shower takes over me. I can't think about it... I'm grateful to whatever angel got me and Hope here in time.

My voice breaks, but I force out the next words anyway. "She tried to kill herself."

Brie almost drops Heather when she tries to jump to her feet, but I put my hand up to stop her before she even begins.

May doesn't need her running up there and throwing a bunch of questions at her right now, what she needs is for everybody to fucking understand what happened and fix it before it happens again.

"Miles, what are you talking about? When?" Josh walks up to me like none of the shit that's come between us in the last few days has even fucking happened, sensing the anxiety radiating all over my body and taking my head in his hands before laying his lips down against the top.

It feels better, everything instantly feels fucking better.

The feeling of his skin on mine is so calming but right now I don't need to be calm, I need to get through this. For May.

I gently guide Josh's hands down from my face, kissing against one of his palm's and watching him practically melt under my touch before allowing him to step away from me again, although he doesn't move far.

"She took an overdose today, me and Hope got here before it did any damage but barely, she timed it fucking well. She waited until all of you would be busy, this wasn't a cry for help, she wanted to fucking die." The pain coming off everyone in the room is like darkness casting shadows across every bit of light, drowning out the hope with despair. Brie just keeps looking at the staircase, Steve staring at Brie like he's waiting to catch her the moment she falls, while Jayce just can't bear it, letting the weight of it all hit him as he crumbles down into one of the chairs.

Yeah, you should all feel like shit. We all should. We could've stopped this.

Lee has nothing, no reaction. She just lets her never blinking eyes barrel into me endlessly like she has no fucking idea what I'm talking about, she can't quite seem to even process the information.

You fucked up Lee, you really fucked up. You know that now.

They can all feel it, the part each of them have played in getting May to this point. If I'm honest with myself, even I've played a part. I've been so caught up with Josh and Liam, allowing May to go onto the back burner, even when I knew she really needed me.

I will never do this to her again.

I will make her a priority, always. She deserves at least that.

"I just need you all to listen. If after I'm done you all still can't sort your shit out for he, then don't consider me any of your fucking family anymore, I won't lose my sister." I reach into my pocket and pull up the screen, I know that my voice is going to fall apart through every fucking word but they need to hear them.

They need to understand.

You can do this Milo... For her.

"I'm sorry." Fuck... Just say the words. They could've been her last. "I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't be as strong as you Brie, I tried, I swear I tried. I'm so sorry, it's better now, I promise."

Fuck...

"I'm sorry that I was such a shit sister Jayce, I'm sorry that I let you down, I'm so sorry. Leah should hate me, don't be mad at her, it's not her fault... I love you all. I know that things will be easier now that you don't have to worry about me ruining anything else, now you can all be together again without me in the way. I should have done this sooner."

Hold it together Milo.

"I'm sorry H-Heather, I love you so much pocket poppet. I am going to watch over you, I can do a better job when I have my wings. You are my Princess, you will always be my Princess. I will be the angel that protects you, but please try not to get in too much trouble, I've already put your mummy and daddy through so much, be better than me... I know you will be."

There's tears all around me, but I can't stop.

"Hope, don't you cry my queen. I just got in that car a bit early but I'm still waiting for you when you get here, I'm just on the other site off the cliff Louise. I know the twins drive you crazy but you are so lucky to have them, don't let it day go by with you don't tell them you love them. You don't know when will be taken from you... I love you."

Reading the next part, even the first line makes me collapse onto the bottom step of the staircase... How could she think this?

"Milo, I would have died a long time ago if it wasn't for you. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't love myself. Don't blame yourself, I know you'll want to but don't. Josh will look after you, he's your stars. Just know I'm there too, I'll be the brightest one that watches over you, always... Look after Dad, and Tara, make sure that Brie doesn't forget to eat. She always forgets when she's sad and I'm not there to remind her, make sure she doesn't forget."

Brie howls with tears but I don't look up at her, I can't.

"Brie and Leah, they were always the ones that were supposed to be sisters. I'm so sorry that I tore them apart, I didn't mean to... This isn't any of your fault, I was never supposed to be here in the first place. I'm just correcting life's mistake.

I love you, all of you.

I'm sorry."

The tears run down my face with every word, Josh is dying to hold me in his arms right now but he knows I have to say this. They have to know what they did, they are the ones that nearly killed her.

We did this. We did this.

May has ADHD, writing something like this... it would've taken her hours... maybe even days. She planned this, it wasn't a sudden decision, she intended it to happen this way. She wanted to die, she thought she was the problem.

She's not. She never has been.

I make sure to guard the bottom of the staircase to prevent any of them running up to hit her with questions or overload her with pain right now, but nobody makes a move.

They're frozen.

Every one of them so defeated, they've all just realised the weight of how different today could have been for every single one of them.

This could have been another anniversary, another date to add to the calendar where everything fell apart for us.

"Milo..." Lee's tiny voice echoes through the room, I didn't realise how much she was crying until I look at her.

"It's May's suicide note. It's all I'd have left of her if she'd achieved her goal today."

Heather's arms wrap around Brie's neck, I know neither of those kids heard a word that I was saying but she can still see the tears running down her aunts face.

"You have to forgive her..." I look directly at Lee, everyone else here was already on that path but she's the one that has destroyed May the most. "Please..." I'm begging her...

My pleas of agony mixing with the tears running down my face are too much for Josh to cope with, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me from the staircase into his chest as I continue to plead with my sister. "Please... You have to forgive her... I can't lose who Lee, I can't fucking lose her too... Please."

Josh's arms only tighten around me, he's known loss unlike anybody else in this room, he knows what losing May would do to me. He's trying to whisper sweet words in my ears but I can't hear them, my focus completely on Lee as she starts to crumble.

Jayce springs from his seat, capturing Lee in his arms just at the moment she was about to collapse. She finally lets it all out; releasing all the anger she's been holding onto like a shield and finally letting all that pain hit her. It all releases as a strangled weep that seeps out of her directly into my brothers chest.

She's been holding it all in, firing anger she can't cope with at everyone around her rather than dealing with the pain of the loss she almost suffered.

Her daughter almost died before her eyes, the life growing inside of her almost slipped away to join her angel babies too. She's Bern guarding herself from feeling the true brunt of that, but now she can't hide from it anymore as she let's it all smash against her soul with force.

Josh just holds my head against his shoulder, allowing me to unload some of my weight onto him. He never hated May, not for a second. He actually understands her guilt, probably better than anyone else could.

He's so fucking strong. He coped with this for ten fucking years, wearing a smile that would protect everyone else.

"W-Where is she?" Lee finally manages his to push out some understandable words, her face still very much buried into Jayce's shoulder.

"I'm here."