My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 232

"Tell me about college." I ask as the chickens continue to evade Sylvester Stallone, I really love this film. "You haven't really said much about what you did there."

"Because there's not much to tell." He chuckles, opening two more beers and handing me one. "The first few months weren't the easiest, I was playing catch up on my courses and trying to find my place in a new team but I got there in the end. It got better after Luke and Eli came... eventually.  There are some things I need to tell you, but not tonight."

I hate that he was on his fucking own for so long, I hate more that he doesn't even want me to know how hard it must have been. He probably didn't tell anyone, just took it all in his stride like always, protecting everybody else from pain that he felt it his duty to bear.

"I'm sorry... I didn't want college to be that kind of experience for you." I wanted you to be fucking thriving.

He shakes his head, letting his fingertips stroke my knuckles and bringing me the comfort I should be giving him.

"Don't be sorry Josh, I promise it wasn't that bad. I was so fucking busy I hardly had time to think about anything else. I was in class, then practise, then the library, then my dorm passing out to start it all again. I swear to you, it wasn't as awful as you think." Miles doesn't lie, but he does protect. I'm sure he kept busy, but I'm under no illusions that it was fucking easy.

So... work, ball, work, ball, work, ball... All he did was work and play basketball... He says all he did was...

Don't ask.

Don't ask.

It's not important.

Don't ask.

"What about, like.. socially?"

Oh God you are so fucking embarrassing yourself Josh.

Miles smirks, resting back against the pillow for a moment before turning onto his side to face me, completely ignoring the movie as he takes a hold of my hip and guides me to face him in turn.

"Are you asking if I dated anybody?" I mean... maybe?

Jayce said that he didn't but it's not like he's never lied to Jayce before. Maybe he wouldn't tell him about people he just didn't think were important, people whose names he forgot as soon as he left their beds.

The thought actually hurts my fucking heart but it has no right to.

"Look at you." His smile only grows, reaching behind us and burying the base of his beer into the sand before he rests comfortably with his face only inches from mine. "It's not like I didn't expect you to get a lot of fucking offers, Miles."

"Would it have bothered you if I did?" We both know the fucking answer to that. I gently place my hand into his waist, using it to anchor me as I guide myself closer to him, until our thighs touch and i feel the urge to slip my hand under his fucking shirt to touch him.

To mark him...

"I'd understand. It's not like I could say–"

"Don't speak if you're just going to lie Josh." He knows me too fucking well. "Did you feel that way when you found out about Ash?"

His eyes never leave mine, almost like they're reading the words on my soul before they ever have a chance to materialise from my lips.

"The day I found out you had a girlfriend was one of the worst days of my life." I thought I was going to die from the fucking pain... "It hurt, finding out you were with anyone would fucking hurt but it wouldn't change anything between us now Miles. I never expected you not to be, I would understand because I know what it felt like to-"