My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 217

"What the fuck was that?!" I scream at Xade the moment we are alone up here. "We said we weren't going to fucking tell anybody! Why would you do that?" Xade stutters and stumbles over his words, but there's no fucking point, we both know why he did it.

"I... I... Shit, Josh I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have done tha-"

"You're damn fucking right you shouldn't have! What the fuck? Where did all this possessive jealousy shit come from because you know I fucking hate stuff like that, so do you." He can't even fucking look at me, he just glances down at the floor of the balcony like it's magically going to give him the fucking answers. "Were you trying to fucking hurt him on purpose?"

"No, I wasn't trying to..." Xade sighs, letting himself fall back against the railings before he looks up at me. I can see that he's sorry but it doesn't change how fucking angry I am. "I wasn't trying to hurt him, I didn't really think like that. It's just... you disappeared, I come up here and find you alone with him, staring into his eyes and fucking smiling like your whole world just came together. I'm sorry, a part of me just wanted him to know that you're mine now."

I wish I could tell he's delusional, that what he saw was all in his fucking head and that there was no need for him to feel that way... but I'd be fucking lying.

It was just a fucking moment though, it was just a stupid fucking moment. I wouldn't have a agreed to marry Xade if I wasn't going to see it through, he should know that.

It was just a moment.

Xade knew that would hurt Miles, he knew but he fucking did it anyway. He shouldn't have sprung it on him like that. Especially not without talking to me about it first.

This isn't how I wanted things to be, I came up here so me and Miles could find someway to be around each other for the sake of everyone we fucking love downstairs. Was I expecting it to be that comfortable? No. Was it a fucking shock that even now he has that kind of fucking power over my soul? Yes, but I'll fucking deal with it. I just want us to be okay.

I don't even know how I feel about him anymore, I shoved it all down so fucking long ago and I've gotten pretty fucking good at keeping it there, it's the only reason I'm still breathing. It's the only way I could fucking cope the constant fucking blows to my heart.

It doesn't matter anyway. He's moved on, I've moved on, Xade didn't need to fucking do that. He hurt him, for nothing.

I turn to leave, getting halfway down the hall before he manages to capture my wrist.

"Josh, please don't run. Can we just talk about this? We don't fight, it's not us." I know that. I shake my arm out of his clutch, I really don't want to fight either so I just need him to not be touching me right now.

"We'll talk about it later, right now I need to get back to Liam." Xade doesn't argue, just nodding his head and following me back downstairs into the party where almost everybody has already found themselves on the dance floor.

I take the last seat on the table where Liam sits, watching him turn and smile up at me before returning his attention to Hope. I don't speak a lot of sign so I don't understand most of their conversation, but he's been working on his for years and the smile on his face is enough to tell me that he's just happy he's here with her. He truly adores her.

Heather doesn't let it last long though, grabbing him by his hand and pulling him back towards the dance floor just as Xade place's a fresh beer in front of me and takes Liam's seat.

Calm down Josh. Calm the fuck down, you have the right to be angry but wanting to throw him off that seat just to get him away from you feels like a fucking over reaction. Why are you being like this?