Oddinary// Hyunlix & Minsung FF// Editing

Chapter Thirty Six: Please Let Me Go

(This chapter is for Kiara_Lxvlia thank you for all your support and comments. I always look forward to them!)

The cold floor was soothing underneath my burning body. The cold material was keeping me grounded and I needed desperately to cling on to reality. I was hugging my knees to my chest tightly, and used the tip of my toes to gently rock my body back and forth. I wondered how the hell it had come to this. The birds were chirping loudly in the trees and the bright yellow orb, scattered rays around the abandoned room, filling it with a warmth and light that was a stark contrast to my mood.

I had decided that today was the day. I pulled the neatly folded note out of my pocket and clutched it in my hand. My heart was surprisingly calm considering what I had planned. I swilled down the last of the vodka and leaned my head back on the wall.

"Ugh, at least I'll finally be able to rest." I murmured to myself. I pushed my long hair from my eyes and yawned loudly. I stretched my aching body and then picked up the empty vodka bottle. I smashed it against the wall and found a shard of glass that would be appropriate for what I had planned.

I stood on the roof and stared out over the seedy city that lay beyond. The city that had taken me, eaten me and then spat me back out. All before I had even had a chance to reach adulthood. I gripped the glass tighter in my small hands and felt it slice my soft skin as the sharp edges penetrated my palm.

I heard the blood dripping on the floor next to me and a satisfied sigh left my lungs. A single solitary bright white feather, floating in the air, caught my attention. It danced around in the gentle breeze gracefully and bobbed up and down as it was blown around.

My Father used to tell me that a feather was a sign a deceased loved one was near, and wanted to send their love to you. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I thought of him. My wonderful Appa who always took care of me. Of Jisung, and Eomma.

Now I was stuck with Mr Lee.

"Yah. Why are you up here?" I didn't even turn. He always came to find me these days. I would need to get better at hiding. I didn't care though. I wouldn't let him convince me to live. Not this time.

"You know why. Here. Take this." I held my hand out with the scrunched up peice of paper. He slowly approached and the paper flapped around in the breeze as my hand shook. I gripped the glass more tightly, Deepening the slice in my palm.

"Don't you dare Lix." Instead of taking the note, his large warm hand settled around my wrist. He pulled me towards him, hard, and wrapped his arms around my torso, wrestling me as I tried to get away from him. A yelp left my mouth as his arm grazed against one of my more sensitive injuries.

"Please. Let me go Jin." I whispered as I finally gave up the struggle. My voice lacked any emotion. The energy I usually used to flail, and kick and fight when he tried to stop me, was totally depleted. I had nothing more to offer the world.

"No Lix. I won't." He said firmly.

"Please." He pushed his fingers into my messy hair and laid his cheek on the top of my head.

"No Lix. I won't let you do this." I felt him reach down and begin trying to peel my fingers off of the glass. Tears began falling from my eyes, and I screwed my face up. I gripped the glass more tightly, but he was stronger than me. He finally freed it from my hand and threw it off the roof.

"Jin, please. I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired." My voice came out wavering, and uncertain. Just like me. I was uncertain, because in the moment, with his arms shielding me from the horrors of the world, I was losing my nerve and conviction. Hyunjin was my safety.