Don't Fear The Reaper *Izana x OC x OC* (COMPLETE)

Illogical

Izana--

I'm not sure what to say to Reza now that I'm here in front of her. There have been a multitude of thoughts swirling around in my head since I met her and it's becoming increasingly difficult to dispel them.

"I, uh- how are you feeling?" I stutter out. That's a start at least. "I was worried when I woke up and saw all the blood."

The corner of her mouth twitches slightly. "Everything hurts and I murdered my favorite uncle, so I'm wonderful."

"I'm sorry. Can I ask what your plan is for me? I know you wanted to keep me from being killed by your family but I'm not sure having me around is an asset."

"I know, honestly, I'm not sure what I plan to do or why I took you along with us. I just didn't want to see you die-" She stops and clears her throat as she looks away. "-uh, die by my family."

"While I appreciate that, I am only a hinderance to you and would rather Roman get you somewhere safely than worry about me."

"Be that as it may, if you go out there alone my family will find and kill you without blinking."

"You act as if the whole reason we met wasn't because I was set to die and I told you that I was readily willing to die." My retort draws her deep red eyes back to me and a small smile flits across her face.

"I can't exactly keep you here if you want to leave but I do not mind your presence here."

I think I've figured something out based off her actions around me though I doubt she'd ever admit it.

"Reza, I don't think you want to kill me anymore and that's alright. I have actually enjoyed getting to know you and I really, truly, with everything in me do not want to admit this, but I think Roman taught me something."

She pulls the bottle away from her lips and arches a brow. "He did what?"

"I think I need to approach my desire to stop my rule of the kingdom in a different way. I don't want my brother suffering because I am being selfish."

"So what are you going to do?"

I leave the room to do my window checks before returning to the doorway to her room. I'm not fully sure what I am going to do to change my plans but I don't think that death will be the proper answer. Roman's words got to me and I started to wonder what I would feel if Zen were to do something like that. I don't think I could handle losing him in that manner so I can't subject him to that. I could always return and decide to step back from the role. I would still be the First Prince and control the kingdom technically but I would let Zen step up and take on the leadership and decisions unless I am truly needed. It gives him real life training to take care of the kingdom but he would have me to guide him from the sidelines. I just have to make it back to the castle and not get murdered there or along the way. I voice my plan to Reza who is pouting at the empty whiskey bottle and she looks over at me curiously.

"Are you sure that is what you want? That is a drastic change from desiring death so heavily."

"I could say the same of you no longer wishing to kill me after trying so many times to end my life." I retort and she flips me off. "I do think that it is the best idea for me."

"Then I suppose we should find a way to return you to your home." She mumbles, discarding the bottle in favor of the sheets of paper and the pencil on the bed beside her. "It may take a few days, given my condition, but I will discuss it with Roman when he returns and see how we can manage it."

"Thank you." I watch her absently push a lock of hair behind her ear and I feel my thoughts fighting to slip out. "Reza, I know it may be the wrong time to say anything but... I uh... I'm just going to go check the windows now."

"Oh, okay? Keep me updated please."

That was incredibly stupid. I shouldn't have even had those thoughts to begin with and I shouldn't have almost admitted those thoughts out loud. I know what would come of it in any scenario so I should just keep them inside and forget their existence. Somewhere along the murder attempts and saving my life, I've developed feelings for Reza. I know realistically that even if they were reciprocated, I couldn't be with her due to her criminal status and my status in the kingdom. It wouldn't be safe for her to be around me. If I did speak out on my feelings in any way, she would turn me down. I can tell by the way she looks at him and how they interact that she is in love with Roman, whether she knows it or not. I know Roman wants to find any excuse available to kill me as well so I would likely die if I spoke or acted on it.

Roman returns and after his customary death glare, he asks if I saw anything and if Reza is alright. I tell him that nothing happened and she seemed alright after I gave her the bottle of whiskey. He reluctantly offers me food while informing me that he did see a few stray family members just within the edges of the perimeter but none of them seemed to be heading in this direction so he took two down and let the rest past on. He discards his cloak and cleans his hands before putting a small bag on the counter. It has a fair amount of food inside and while he puts some of it on a plate for Reza he explains that he stole it from a group of traveling merchants. I shouldn't exactly condone thievery in my kingdom but my entire life lately seems to be a series of crimes and shady activities.