Dandelions | Yeongyu

10

After school, as the two had planned, Beomgyu came back over to Yeonjuns house. Though they made up, as it seems, Beomgyu still was feel anxious around him. He took a seat carefully on the bed, not allowing his eyes to wonder around, instead he just focused to his feet that hung over the edge, slightly sawing, trying to calm him himself down but it was no use. Yeonjun was intimidating as hell.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but ever since the topic of that journal came up, it's almost as if there was a subtle switch in him. At least that's how Beomgyu saw it. He couldn't tell if it was his own anxiety and paranoia, or if there really was something going on. Regardless of what it was, it scared the shit out off him.

So now here he is, not daring to speak or look up into the others eyes.

"Beomgyu." Even when he heard his name being sweetly called, he refused to look into those deep dark orbs that was always sure to entrance him.

"Hey, why are you being so quiet?"

Even when he heard the sadness lingering in Yeonjuns surly pouting face, he wouldn't look away from the floor that became a dizzy blur from under his feet.

"I love you."

He knows he said he wouldn't look, -
But he just couldn't help it upon hearing such words spoken to him.

Beomgyus lips parted open, a small breath escaping them as he locked their eyes. Damn it, he knew he shouldn't have looked, why did Yeonjun have to shine so gorgeously? Why did he have to ware a look as if he were sad all the time, why did it hurt so much to see it?

Beomgyu felt a knot wrapping around his throat, however in reality there was nothing really there. He looked dazed to the one who was standing over him. How their eyes locked for a thousand life times.

In those spilt seconds, Beomgyu felt the world around him stop. Every bone in his body froze, even when Yeonjuns pushed to stand in between is legs, even when he saw how he started to lean, closing his eyes in the process.

At least he couldn't look into his eyes anymore.

Beomgyu felt the softness of the others lips pressing on his own. Why did it hurt? Why did the perfectness of it hurt so damn bad? Why did something that was bad have to feel so good. Why was Yeonjun addicting?

Beomgyu stayed still, his hands rested slightly behind him on the mattress. His eyes were still open, though he was looking past the boy. He felt Yeonjuns lips pressed to his own though he couldn't find the strength to kiss back.

One tiny deal, that could be a simple miss understanding, caused this much of an effect on him. Perhaps he wasn't ready for a relationship after all, even thinking this, he knew he was already stuck, there was no way his heart would allow him to break from Yeonjun, even if he needed to in order to fully find himself. He already knew he would never be the one to let go.

"Beomgyu, do you not love me?" He heard the soft melody of Yeonjuns soothing voice. The boy had pulled their lips away and now rested his head down on his shoulder, hiding his own face.

Beomgyu almost sighed, but he refined from doing it out loud. There was no need to be so dramatic, he thought that for the both of them. Yeonjun asking such questions about love when he didn't even know what the word meant yet. As he said, he likes to move fast. But even this, it felt unnatural. Still, Beomgyu knew he couldn't speak such a thing out loud, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt the other.

So, he spoke out even though he wasn't sure himself yet.

"Yeonjun, don't say such things. ~ of course I love you."