Neon Moon

Ch. 15 Wandering Minds

Christmas and New years had long come and gone but the winter cold had decided to linger for a while. Which you didn't mind one bit because you had your own massive heat source that didn't like you straying more than a couple inches away from him anyway. It was so easy with Clyde, and that was starting to scare you. Based on your past experiences something was bound to go wrong and the two of you were just buying time till it did.

However, you also found yourself completely lost in the ruggedly handsome, silent grump, of a kind man that Clyde was. It was hard to think about things without him poking out in the corners of your mind wanting to include him any chance you got. And to your surprise he always wanted to be a part of it. You just worried one day he'd get tired of you, or the relationship the two of you had created.

You believed when he told you he cared about you, you believed him when he called you his lady, you believed him when he did things for you out of the goodness of his heart, or when he whispered soft sweet things in your ear in intimate moments, but part of you is always worrying that maybe one day he'll have enough and move on. Because that's how it always was, you were never enough, and maybe you weren't enough for Clyde. But right now as you watched him sleep in your bed you pushed those thoughts aside dreaming of something more, something that would always be enough for the both of you.

Clyde had become more and more comfortable letting his walls crumble to allow you in. It was new and exciting but the closer you got the more insecurities from his past tried to creep back in. He'd want to say more, give more, tell you more but as he'd think about it the more he clammed up going his signature quiet self internally battling his spiral. He was scared that if you knew about the details of his past that you would want nothing to do with him. He was scared that maybe you just wanted to use him to move on to greater things because he believed you deserved greater things. He was afraid that he couldn't give you everything you wanted.

He believed you when you told him you liked him a little too damn much, he believed you every time you called him honey, he believed you when you sang him the song you wrote, and he believed in the way you touched him so soft and gentle keeping him grounded to you, but he was still worried you deserved better and that you wouldn't want to be with him long term. He was just wanting so much more and thought it wasn't good enough for you. But as he held you late at night it somehow made all those fears disappear letting him surrender himself to sleep. To you.

Clyde was fast asleep in your bed until he felt cold hands wrap around his neck and snake into the nape of his neck. Instinctually his eyes fluttered open and close catching images of you nuzzling up into his chest. His arm wrapped around you snuggly pulling you on him even more. Neither of you said anything just laying there tangled together in silent contentment and warmth.

The two of you had already slept in longer than usual after staying up late the night before shooting pool with Jimmy and Sylvia, but now after staring at Clyde for almost an hour you knew you had to get up. His warm body clung to you making it difficult to move, so instead you gently say against his chest feeling his muscles flex under you, "I think it's time to get up."

He took a deep breath, almost a sigh talking into the top of your head not opening his eyes, "I think we should stay right here Sunshine."

Smiling you batted your eyelashes up at him resting your chin on his chest, "we've already slept most of the day away."

His heavy lids cracked open just enough to see how adorably beautiful you were. The cloudy light bounced off your stray baby hairs while your eyelashes fluttered at him making his want to be closer to you impalpably strong. Clyde just looked at you as he woke up lifting his hand up to brush a stray hair out of your face.