Thunder and Ice (Jolteon x Glaceon) {Pokemon}

Lonely Moon on a Dark Night

Ruby: Ahem. *Stands in the center of the screen, smiling sweetly* Greetings! Shadow, Thunder, and Shard can't join you at the moment. They're a bit... heh, well, you don't want to know.

Lobo: *Pokes head in * Uh, Ruby?

Ruby: *Snarls* Don't interrupt! At least be courteous to our... *Motions to you* ...guests.

Lobo: *Blinks dully* Oh. Hi, unfortunate readers! Unfortunate because you're stuck listening to us...

Ruby: *Snarl deepens* Get to the point.

Lobo: I was just wondering if I could eat Shard when you're done with this thing. She seems pretty sweet. *Grins wickedly*

Ruby: *Frowns* If anyone's going to kill her, it's me. And she's not worthy to be your prey! That pathetic runt!

Lobo: Ugh, fine. I won't as long as you catch me a raticate later or something... *Groans* Guess I'll return to guarding them. *Stalks away*

Ruby: Good! *Returns full attention to her audience* Apologizes for that interruption. Where was I? ...Oh, yes. I'm hijacking this broadcast, or whatever in Arceus' name this is called.

Lobo: *Yells from off-screen* An author's note!

Ruby: *Hisses* Return to your post!

Lobo: Fiiine...

Ruby: Anyways. *Peels lips back, exposing her blood-rotting fangs* From this moment further, your host won't be the mutated scum you know as the author. Instead, you receive the awfully delighting opportunity to hear my thoughts on this story. *Sits in a polite manner, tail lashing back and forth sharply* Oh, but first, there are a couple things I need to address. *Pulls out flashcards* First of all, today is the birthday of a close friend of Shadow's! Don't think I care? I do, honestly! My gift to the birthday girl is exceptional torture. *Savagely grins* Happy birthday, friend of Shadow's.

Me: AHHH! THIS ISN'T MY BED!

Ruby: Second, anyone who comments about my bad fur day I will personally track down and gorge out their hearts! And... hmm... *Tosses some flashcards over her shoulder, uninterested at the writing on them*

Lobo: Quiet down, pest! Or I'll make you!

Me: AAAHHH! MONSTER!

Ruby: Er... yes! This card is mediocre. So, thirdly, are any of you uncomfortable? Would you like a snack? I have a cookie... Nah, I'm kidding. I don't give two hairballs about how any of you are feeling. Now! *Throws the rest of the flashcards somewhere* Time for my thoughts...

Me: *A whacking sound is heard from off-screen*

Lobo: OW!

Ruby: *Sighs roughly* It seems I can't ignore this situation any longer. It seems that the author scum is awake, and she wields her self-defense spatula. I thought I ordered Lobo to take that away from her... *Hisses to self* Farewell for now, readers. Remember, threatening and murdering is the only way to get what you want in life.

Me: LIAR!

Ruby: SILENCE! *Insert words that aren't child-friendly here* Ugh, she's annoying. Enjoy you pathetic chapter. If I could, I would severely alter this chapter up to my liking, but to my dismay, Shadow has antivirus installed on her laptop...

Me: EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL E-!

Ruby: ...and I could only manage to adjust the chapter name. Do you also like it? I believe it is pretty clever - you'll find out why when you finish reading - and it's certainly better than the blunt title Shadow had before. Farewell for now!