Bastard No More

Smitten, and bitten

    I do not know where to begin. Let me say a greetings to all.

    Today, like every other day, I count my blessings; my beautiful blessings.

    I'm the type who is always thinking, always planning, always wanting. Sometimes things don't go according to plan, especially my plan. But I always try to make it work.

    My latest arrival Hippolyta Jamien captures a piece of me heart each time I see her. My dear friend has been kind and lenient with my hours and we are in a good place. We're co-parenting. Yes, sometimes when we're near each other that fiery flame licks at the both of us but I know I belong to Semaj. She gives what I need from a woman. I have made that woman uproot not only her's but her children's entire lives and I plan on making them all as comfortable as possible. No matter what attraction Hippolyta's mother and I have between each other I know we can't keep these triangles and such going. My heart is in Semaj's chest.

    I just want to make sure Semaj is happy. Whatever it may be, however it might be. I look at my beloved losing more weight and I know it's bcuz she is stressing over a lot. She shouldn't be stressed out. It's my fault I got her like this. I hope I'm not suffocating her with my love.

   I take her onto my lap and into my arms every chance I get, just wanting to hold her and let her know I feel her. I rub that sweet little ass of hers and get like stone. I listen to her heartbeat and wish to venture beyond her ribcage and fix whatever ails her, as she has been the remedy in my healing.

   But, as of late, I have more and more understanding of her anxiety.  She and I are more alike than she cares to admit. It's never been a secret that we can feel what each other does; our frequencies are synced. She feels when I've had a hard day at work, I feel when she's tired or excited.

    She feels when I'm thinking of her whilst miles away, wondering what she's doing, smiling to myself. The other day she surprised the shit out of me when she called me on my lunch break and asked me what I was smiling at😂 I told her she should have known I was thinking about her. She of course said "Oh, I know" then said she knew bcuz she felt my eyes upon her at home. When we got off she sent me a little something to tide me over until I got off😏

    When I tell you I hurry home each day...when I don't have to go in the bar I get to spend all night with my family. On those nights I have to work I make sure she doesn't have to cook so after I leave the scrapyard I go get food, but when I'm off I do the cooking. Semaj doesn't need to be on her feet all day. She cares for our little ones plus the older ones as well.

   Tonight, I was commissioned to work a party for St. Patrick's Day as mixologist at the Petroleum Club. My boss/friend hooked me up with the gig and his recommendation flattered me to say the least. My forté isn't mixing drinks; being a guitarist and a mechanic have always been my thing. But the job paid well, very well, plus I got to keep all my tips. Only setback: mostly white folks, breathing in my masked face. I got hit on every ten minutes. My tip jar was full of phone numbers. I dump that bitch out and got me money.

   There are a few people of color working there that I know, like my boss's sidepiece. She's a lovely woman, very proper yet fun, and always with a smile on her face. I made sure to mix her up a nice strong daiquiri for her to bring home, and she hooked me up with a heavy plate. She asked me if I'd consider coming on full-time as mixologist there, since she has hiring/firing power. She said she could fix me up with good hours and perks at the club, plus I'd make good. I told her I'd think upon it. Hey, I could use another job. To be honest, the bar where I'm at is getting a bit too familiar if you know what I mean. I have a few fans lol. But thing about this new gig is that I just can't stand being around all those white folks. But I'm willing to overlook for that green.

   I've a feeling these days that I just can't explain. I'm head over heels in love. Like this is it. All I can think of is where I'm gonna take Semaj for our honeymoon. The thought makes my day right whilst at work. I'm ready. So ready.

    I can't contain myself, and it's hard being swollen at this size. But I bring it on home to my cougar😏 My baby girl be pleasantly surprising me, jumping into my arms and sucking my neck, leaving passion marks on me before I go to work 😏 sometimes giving me a little head (note* I get head every morning upon waking from her) as I'm on my way out, just having the devil in her😂 making me late😏💦 or she gives me those eyes and I turn around and go bite that booty, which leads to me eating that ass😊.

     Life is good when it's good♥️ Now I must bid y'all good night bcuz I crave my beloved. Blessings to all.