Bastard No More

8/10 not bad

   Greetings to anyone still joining me here.

   It's December 4, and my beautiful wife and I are counting down the days til we meet our sun. The vibrations in the air are filled with wonder, panic, anxiety, and love. Love bcuz that's what's started this thing.

    Love, bcuz I realize that this woman truly does belong with me, and I with her. The sacrifices made speak volumes, and although our love may have caused others unintended pain, it's still the love I choose. If I must apologize for this, forever, consider it done. One should never have to apologize for wanting to be with the one who makes you complete.

   Semaj and I have definitely been thru it all, yet we're still here. In each other's arms and hearts. I hurt a man to get her; I hurt many women trying to replace her. All my days I'll carry these sins.

   So many times we hurt each other. Whilst she had someone to go to, I sought comfort from other women's counsel. So many times I wished to make things right. I was in the wrong. I never should have spoken to anyone about her. But as we both spoke to other people about our situation, it became clear that no one really was rooting for us. Her faults were highlighted to me, as my faults were showcased to her.

   But none of that mattered.

   We all have flaws. I love every single one of hers. And it's evidently clear she's acceptive of mine, and they are plenty.

   I need to make something clear.

   I know I just fucked a random person a few days ago when given a pass. I did not need to be given no pass. I get more than satisfied at home. Home, the home we share, the home where her pussy makes me weep and rejoice. I'm appreciative and grateful for the woman I have, the woman I love. I really love this woman. And I understand why she told me to take the pass.

   At first I thought it a test. She confirmed it, but it was surprisingly not what I'd thought. She felt if I would have just returned home without taking advantage of the pass, I'd grow to resent not using it. She'd given me Carte blanche this one time, where I wouldn't get my head taken off. She said it was the best present she could give me😔 I begged to differ.

   Semaj knows how much having a family means to me. Having my own kids. And I know she's been worrying that Bruce will be the last child she may be able to give me. I think not.

    My desire was to sire at least ten children.

   With my Daenarick, Bria, and Damiana plus Bruce and baby girl on the way, makes Five.

   Well, I now have eight. And that's where I'll stop.

   I plan on legally adopting Semaj's oldest daughter and her son. As much as I want to do the same for little one, she has a wonderful father who loves her, and she deserves to carry his name. No matter what tho, little one will be the eighth in my eyes and heart💯

   If the Lord/Lady sees fit to bless us with more, it would be a blessing indeed. But seeing my Semaj worry and stress, plus have to do it whilst pregnant, is making me ashamed at myself. How dare I keep putting this beautiful soul thru torment? How dare I expect her to keep pushing her body?

   I don't want her to worry. Therefore I'm not giving her anything else to worry about. My heart is fine as long as we're fine. I'm here for her and our kids. Here. I come home from work happily to see them and be with them.

   I'm hoping to have the new house in impeccable order by the beginning of the year, which isn't that long from now. Everyone has their own room. I knew when I first laid eyes on the place that it was for my family.

    Before I close this chapter I just want to express my love for my beloved, bcuz I can never say it enough. I love her past galaxies. We've crossed oceans of time and withstood separations in our lifetimes, but we always found each other again. Even with everything trying to keep us apart. We attracted back in place. I never want to be separate from her again. I want to weld our souls together forever.

    I want it to be my name she whispers and tastes on her lips like the sweetest secret whenever she thinks of me, yet I want to kiss her deeply and probe her mouth with my tongue, and prove it's reality. I want to be the last person between those legs, whether I'm giving her head, or helping deliver our baby, or simply delivering her to pleasure.

  These are my goals.❤️