Bastard No More

Emergence Renew

    
        Greetings to all. It's been a minute. I sincerely hope y'all are all in the best of health.

      Mayne, where do I start. I am guilty of skimping out on my writing therapy lately; life has been real, and so real, the lessons have been strenuous and hurtful.

    My beautiful wife Semaj and I found out were we expecting again, and we couldn't have been happier. She was so beautiful and happy and glowing already, and I was ecstatic and joyful. Having children of my own, Mayne... it's something I can't explain.

   My wife and I were happy. For the first time in my life I felt I knew my purpose for sure. Loving this special woman and our family, our ever growing family. But Fate saw otherwise. Semaj miscarried, and both of our worlds seem unbreathable.

    I hurt for my wife, and I hurt for the loss of our daughter; yes, I still feel in my bones that she was going to be a girl. So far I haven't been wrong predicting our babies sex. We hurt privately but the toll was indeed hard on the both of us. I felt at blame; I was always working, possibly giving her thoughts. Who knows. All I know is that I love my wife dearly and I would remain by her side during our time of loss. To think, I'd taken a picture of us that very day, where I was kissing her belly. I wanted to post it but something made me not. It was that same day she was gone😭

   Next we lost Sandy Brown, our beloved Chihuahua. Semaj really took it hard, so did the kids as well as myself. It hit too close to home you know, after the miscarriage.

   Then, I lost my younger brother Nico. I got a call one day from Dmitri saying I should come to Athens for my little brother was in a boating accident and it didn't look good. I couldn't believe the bastard was reaching out to me. I'd only known of Nico for a little over three years now but he is my blood. I begged Semaj to come along with me; at first she was reluctant but she knew I needed her.

   So, Semaj and I went to Greece, and I was there besides Nico when he took his last breath. It was a highly emotional moment for me; brought me back to Mother Dear's last breaths. I began to howl in despair. Semaj told me it was the most mournful wail she'd heard from me since.... losing our daughter.

   In the moments that followed I couldn't bear to see Dmitri. His fake ass. Some father of mine. He wept for losing the son he cared about. I was angry with him for not telling me about Nico sooner, but had I never went to Greece on my own journey I'd have never known about Nico.

    I'd hoped the day I'd take my wife to my homeland would have been under better circumstances, but there we were. I mourned my little brother's life, but I took my wife away from those people and we had an expedition of our own. I wanted to romance her and make some of the pain disappear, but I ended up knocking a muthafucka out for disrespectful comments. Ain't no fucking body gonna disrespect my wife.

   By the time we got back home, we were missing our babies so much. My little princesses birthdays were coming, plus my little step daughter's as well.

   This will be my last chapter here on Wattpad. Apparently they have the right to delete my life stories bcuz of the explicit nature of it. I don't think this is fair. My life has been a hard one and yes an explicit one as well but that doesn't give them the right to make my life's accounts disappear. So I will be making a new site where I will publish my upcoming works there. I've been so busy working for the bag, I took my writing therapy for granted.

     Well, from now on I am going to have more time to write.

   When people look at me, they see a tall, long haired, long bearded, gold fanged, tattooed guy. You would never know my wealth from looking at me. I don't live in a huge home bcuz I want to live beyond my means; I bought that home for my wife, and our means are aplenty and secure.  I say this half with pride in myself for working hard and taking chances and securing business endeavors that will cover my family comfortably for quite a while, but given that I have been named heir to Dmitri's bullshit means I am in his will now. The son of a bitch can keep his shit. I am pleased to learn of the assets I've acquired that rightfully belonged to my birth mother Veritad. I do not want or need Dmitri's money or land or goat shit, bcuz that's what was truly important to him when he declined me, when he threw me away, when he sold me. So I guess the shit does belong to me, all of it, bcuz my life was sold away for it to come into fruition.

      Wattpad, it's been real. I came here ignorant to new technology, and now I'm leaving to do my confessional writing elsewhere. Once I have a new site up and running I shall publish the details here as well as any updates but as for me writing anymore of my personal life here for Wattpad to delete, naw, I'ma have to move around.

   To all who been with me, thru it all, thru my whole hot ass mess, I love y'all. Y'all were down with me and I appreciate it. Y'all were therapeutic for me and really helped me as well. I'm going to thank Wattpad for allowing me to do what I have so far, but I have to take the measures I need to keep my journals available to those who may need them as much as I do.

   Until next we reach....be well..stay safe...be naughty... putting something in the air for y'all 😂