The Weekend - Completed

Chapter 31

"Alex, Alex?" My dad gently knocked on the door before gingerly coming into my room. It had been two weeks since I'd spoken to Daniel or pretty much anyone else for that matter, I just didn't have anything to say, after all what was there to say? I was battling to understand it myself so how was I supposed to make someone else make sense of it all.

"Alex, I've been talking to your gran" his voice grave, I could hear the pain in his tone. "We've decided you should go stay with her for the summer." He looked me squarely in the eye waiting for my response.

I knew this was coming, I'd overheard them talking earlier, I'd heard my dad struggling to hold back his anguish as he told her how helpless he felt, as he told her how he'd never seen me like this before, not even after... I heard his voice break and then the awful silence as he fought to regain his composure so he could continue. I couldn't bear to listen anymore and I buried my head in the pillows, this was the only time since that first night I'd cried. It broke my heart as I realised what I'd done to my dad, the pain and distress I'd caused him.

"A change of scenery could be just what you need" I think my dad believed it less than I did and although I tried to mask my expressions I knew I hadn't fooled him.

"Alex I just don't know what to do, I try my best but I wish your mum was here, she'd know the exact right things say to make it better." Just for a second, before he could fix his mask back into place, I could see the devastating sadness on his face, the obvious grief he fought so hard to hide from us.

"I think it's a good idea too" I said as I plastered on the best fake smile I could muster. "Dad, mum couldn't have done any better, you're a great dad."

"Thanks love, you're mum would be so proud of you."

My gran hadn't wasted any time she had booked me on a flight the following morning, so I spent the next few hours frantically getting my belongings together, and this was the easy part. It had been decided I would spend almost three months in Spain, as I looked at the huge mound on the bed of clothes, shoes and other essentials I would need, I sighed heavily as I compared it to the suitcase and tiny hand luggage I was allowed to take. It didn't matter how many times I packed and unpacked my belongings there was still a mini mountain of necessities left on the bed, for them to all fit it I'd need to be a magician, either that or it'd need to borrow Mary Poppin's carpet bag for the trip.

It was gone midnight before I had finished packing; I still wasn't happy about the pile I'd had to discard but I was exhausted and had an early start in the morning.

My alarm clock abruptly woke me at six, I'd had little more than five hours sleep but I felt more refreshed than I had for the past two weeks, it was the first night I hadn't tossed and turned, reliving that dreadful phone call, fatigue had enabled me to finally get a good sleep. I could smell breakfast aromas wafting up the stairs and quickly slipped my slippers on and went down stairs.

"Morning love, sleep well?" My dad asked whilst busily sliding two pieces of bacon onto my plate.

"Yeah, actually I did" I could hear the surprise in my voice, my dad had noticed it too and he smiled brightly at me.

"Right, well we need to leave in just over an hour" he said handing over two enormous breakfasts. "If you'll take them in I'll bring in the teapot and the toast." As I put the plates down my dad followed me in with a huge pile of toast, my stomach grumbled noisily as the delicious fry up fragrance filled my nose.

I looked down at the empty plate, I hadn't realised I was so hungry, my dad was grinning from ear to ear.

"Good to see you've got your appetite back; you've hardly eaten a thing in days." I rubbed my full belly and slouched back into the chair signifying my satisfaction.

As I finished off my second mug of tea I thought about what I'd been like since Daniel had told me about Tina. I realised I had shut down, I hadn't eaten, hadn't spoken to anyone, shit I'm not even sure I left my room, no wonder my dad was so worried about me. I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I knew it was guilt, I'd been so wrapped up in what I was going through I hadn't spared a thought for what I was doing to my dad.

"Dad, I'm sorry, for the way I've been." He smiled warmly at me and patted my hand reassuringly.

"Don't be silly love, I know what a broken heart feels like, we've all been there, but in time you'll get over it and the pain will start to ease." I thought again of my mum and although I doubted it I wished with all my heart that my dad was starting to put his life back together.

Stuffed to the brim with breakfast I reluctantly headed to the shower and started getting ready. I had spent far too long in the bathroom and was now running late; with each five minutes I could hear the stress in my dad's voice multiplying as he tried to hurry me along. I was pleasantly surprised when I was running a little less than ten minutes behind schedule, my dad always left far too early so I knew I still had plenty of time.

We arrived at the airport more than an hour before I needed to check in, so we had a coffee at the extortionately priced cafe to waste a bit of time. We chatted about Stuart and the twins, the weather, how my studies were going, basically we talked endlessly about inane, mundane topics so we could avoid discussing the real issue. My dad and I were so alike, it was like there was an unspoken understanding between us, and although we never spoke about what had happened we knew how the other felt. It had always been like that between us; after my mum had died the twins had talked endlessly about what her illness, her death and her funeral, whereas I hadn't wanted to speak about it at all, and whilst my brothers questioned my dad incessantly about what had happened and why it had happened I sat in my room quietly. When their enquiries got too much for him he would sit with me in my room for hours, neither of us needing or wanting to talk, lost in our own thoughts but not alone.

I was brought out of my reminiscence by the bored, nasal tones of the announcer informing us my flight was now boarding. I hugged my dad for a long time before rushing to the gate, I glanced back one last time to wave goodbye to my dad and although he was smiling I could see the worry etched across his face, then I disappeared through the check out and on towards the plane and my gran.