Promise Me (N.S.)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (NIALL'S POV)

I went completely numb.

For a moment, I couldn't think, I couldn't see, I couldn't feel. My hands clenched into tight fists as I tried hard to bring myself back from the hell I was forced into.

This wasn't happening to me. No, this was just a dream. I'm still in bed at home, dreaming about something peaceful. Wake up, Niall.

Wake up!

WAKE UP!

But I still sat in the small cramped office, and I still had Leukemia. I didn't understand. I didn't feel this sick. I felt fine...well, almost fine.

The doctor kept talking, but I didn't listen. I tuned everything and everyone out around me. I felt like everything around me was falling to pieces so quickly that it was making my head spin. I started to feel nauseous as the doctor drawled on in the distant background. I probably should have been listening rather than tuning him out, but I just couldn't. My mind wouldn't let me focus on anything else.

All I could think about was what would happen in the end.

If I would be here or not and what I would leave behind.

Or who.

I couldn't sit here any longer. Through the static of the voices, I heard the doctor briefly give me a time estimate.

That was it.

I stood abruptly, catching the doctor completely off guard as he stopped mid sentence.

"Niall?"

I looked at him briefly as I pushed past him and out of that horrid, cramped space.

"Niall?! Come back here we haven't finished-"

But I didn't care. I couldn't listen to this anymore. I was starting to sweat as I pushed past nurses and other patients. The white, sterile walls felt like they were closing in on me. I needed to get out...

I ran out the hospital doors, almost getting hit by a car as I darted through the parking lot towards my car.

I climbed in and started driving. I wasn't sure where I was going, I just needed to get away from here. I drove for what felt like hours until I was in front of a familiar flat.

As soon as I turned off the car, the tears began to fall. My grip on the wheel got so tight that my knuckles began to turn white as I slammed my head onto the wheel in a fit of desperation.

I sobbed, glancing over at Harry and Louis' flat. I couldn't go inside. I couldn't tell him. How could I tell him when I could barely admit it to myself?

I was so scared of hurting him; this would kill him.

It was killing me just thinking about it.

The sun started to set over the hills as I lifted me head from the wheel. I looked across the street at Harry's flat, wondering if he was there and what he was doing. I missed him. But if I went in there right now, I knew I would just break down all over again. I couldn't let him see me like this.

I sped away, not looking back. I needed a few days to get myself together, away from Harry. He couldn't know, yet.

I got home and walked to my small, empty bedroom, not bothering to turn on the lights. I curled up in as tight of a ball as I could make myself and pulled the covers over my head. I wanted to drown in the darkness. Small sobs escaped from my lips as my body shuddered violently out of stress and pure sadness.

I didn't know how this was going to end up, how I would end up...

In the end, though, I knew this would change me. It would change everything...

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SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE! THINGS ARE GONNA START GETTING DRAMATIC!!! LETS SEE IF YOU GUYS CAN GET THIS TO FIVE VOTES OR COMMENTS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS READY! GOOOO!!!!