Promise Me (N.S.)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

My hands clenched the steering wheel so tight I thought my fingers might break under the pressure. His house was dark both inside and out; if his car hadn't been in the driveway, I would've thought he wasn't home.

My heart began to beat out of my chest as I slowly opened my car door and stepped out, with only the moon and stars lighting my path. I walked to his porch, stopping just short of his front door. My mind began racing. I had no idea what I was walking in to. He could be dead, angry, crazy. I didn't know. And the worst part was that I wasn't sure if he still wanted me. But I wasn't ready to stop here; I needed to know.

If it was over, I at least needed closure. I needed to function again.

I exhaled, expelling any trace of oxygen from my burning lungs. I knocked on the door, my heart nearly beating out of my chest.

"Who's there?" his small, Irish voice filled my ears.

I was almost unable to speak; I had almost forgotten how much I loved his voice. Deep and smooth and laden with a dazzling accent; it was one of the endless things that had made me fall for him.

"Who's there?" he asked again, his voice filled with what sounded like anxiety and fear all mixed together.

I cleared my throat nervously.

"Ni?"

No answer. Now I was starting to sweat.

"Niall, it's me."

"Harry?"

My breath caught in my throat as my name escaped his lips and into the atmosphere, where my ears swooped it up as if it were the last thing I would ever hear.

"Yeah, it's me. I...I hadn't heard from you for so long and Liam told me where to find you. I've been worried sick about you; no one's been telling me anything. Can I come in? Can I see you? Please, Ni, I need to see you," I begged hopelessly through the door.

"That's...that's not a good idea, Harry. I think you should go-"

"Niall, please. If...if this is over..." tears began to spill over, my emotions now out of my control. I was starting to spiral.

"Niall, if this is over, I need some...some closure. Please."

There was a long pause; when I had accepted the fact that this was it, he wasn't going to let me in, I turned around and began to walk slowly to my car. As I unlocked it, I heard a small voice behind me.

"Harry, don't go."

I turned around and there he was, a sliver of his face taunting me through his open door.

I walked a little too quickly towards him, my eyes drawn to his presence, even if he wasn't fully visible.

He stepped back and allowed me inside, disappearing into the shadows behind the door as I took in the sight before me. His place was in shambles; his things we strewn everywhere as if a tornado had torn through his tiny flat. The lights were all off as if he hadn't paid his electricity bill in God knows how long. What happened here? And then it hit me; if his place looked like this, then what did he look like?

"Niall? Let me see you."

"Harry-"

"Let me see you."

He emerged slowly from the darkness and into the small sliver of silver light peeking through his closed curtains. As the light hit him, my stomach fell, doing flips on the way down to my feet.

His once glowing appearance was dimmed to the palest shade I could only compare to that of a fresh corpse. This hair was flat and had list its shine, now a dim shade of pale yellow. The darkest of circles adorned his once radiant pools of blue; if I hadn't known any better, I would have thought that he had two black eyes. But Niall didn't fight. No, this was something entirely different. He was thinner, more hunched and his lips were cracked and turned town at the ends into a sullen frown. Niall never frowned. Who was this person standing in front of me? Where had my Niall gone...

I couldn't speak; I just stared at him while he stared at the ground, unable to meet my gaze. My mouth hung open as I struggled to hold back the tears.

"I...Niall...wh-hat happened...are...wh-wh-"

Niall collapsed to the ground, this frail body shaking uncontrollably as thick tears trailed down his purple cheeks. I immediately followed him, scooping him up in my arms as if he were a damaged baby bird. As he continued to shake, I pulled him tighter, trying desperately to warm up his cold, tender skeleton.

"Niall...Niall talk to me..." I begged through his sobs.

He finally looked up at me through blinded eyes, almost all the light lost from them.

"Harry, I-I'm so sorry," he apologized profusely.

"Niall, stop...stop apologizing...I'm here...I'm not going anywhere..."

"I'm sorry..." he whispered.

"For what?" I pulled away, my hands still resting on him, scared that if I let go he might slip away into nothingness.

"I-I..."

"Ni, you can tell me anything...please..."

"Just remember that I love you; I love you more than anyone could possibly love another person and nothing will ever change that. Just please, please, promise me you'll always remember that..." he pleaded, his eyes reflecting his disparity as they locked with mine.

"Always, Ni. But why-"

"Harry, I'm dying..."