Promise Me (N.S.)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

What happened the night before still shocked me.

Niall had kissed me. I had to keep repeating that to myself just as a reminder that I didn’t dream it.

Niall and I kissed.

Niall kissed me.

Me.

My mind was still reeling. I had no idea that he was gay, let alone that he felt any sort of feelings for me. He was always just….polite, even when I was a dick. Maybe he was just good at hiding his emotions; I knew I certainly was. Well, with everyone else at least. I had a feeling that it was going to be different with Niall.

As I lay staring up at the ceiling entrapped in my many thoughts, Niall began to stir next to me, the sheets twisted in layers by his feet. Be pushed himself onto his elbows slowly and turned to look at me. He smiled, rubbing the sand from his eyes.

“Mornin’,” he yawned widely.

I grinned back at him; his morning voice was so sexy. It was much deeper than usual; and his Irish accent was magnified by about one hundred; why was he so damn sexy?

“Good morning,” I replied in my own morning voice.

He smiled, his head propped up on his hand. He sat there for a moment, just looking at me. There was that familiar twinkle in his eyes that got me every time; suddenly, the twinkle vanished and Niall looked down, averting my gaze.

“Niall, what’s wrong?” I was a little worried. He had been fine a second ago. Did I do something?

He sat up abruptly, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. He looked at me with an odd look on his face. He almost looked sad…

“Um…Harry…about last night,” he said slowly, looking down at his feet. What was he avoiding? He had no reason to be scared. He should know how much I like him, right?

“What about it?”

“Um…I’m sorry if I rushed this…I don’t want to take this too fast. Truthfully, I’m not even sure what this is.” He shot me a panicked glance, as if to make sure I was still there.

I was confused. I thought he liked me? He must know that I like him too right? Around Niall, I wasn’t good at hiding my feelings. There was no way he couldn’t know how I felt. I knew what I wanted; the question was, did he want it too?

“What do you want it to be?” I asked, my voice almost inaudible.

“I…” he started.

“Niall…” he looked up at the sound of his name. A look of sadness had replaced the brilliant twinkle that once resided in them.

“I know what I want it to be, Harry, but I’m scared.”

“What are you so scared of, Ni? I’m not going to hurt you.” I scooted closer to him on the bed.

“That’s not it,” he shook his head. “I’m not scared that you’ll hurt me. I…I’m terrified that I’ll hurt you. I don’t know what this will turn into, but you’ve already obviously gone through a lot and I don’t want to add to that,” he choked. A small tear glided down his perfect cheek.

I put my finger on his chin and tilted his head up so it was level with mine.

“Niall, you can’t be so worried. I’ll be ok. I’ve always been ok. With those other things that happened in my life, I managed just fine. I’m not going to let you sacrifice this because of me.”

He nodded, still looking down. He sniffed a bit; his tears were beginning to dry against his skin.

“I think we should take this slow,” I offered. As much as I didn’t want to take things slow with him, it sounded like that was what he needed. I guess it couldn’t hurt.

He finally looked back up at me, the twinkle beginning to return. He nodded. I grabbed him, pulling him into my arms. He nuzzled his head into my chest. I gave him a small kiss on top of his fluffy, blonde head. His hair was so messy right now, but he was still beautiful to me.

Nothing was ever going to change that.