Oh My Captain

Ball 14

Kanina ko pa naririnig ang pagsinghap niya dahil sa ginagawa ko. It was supposed to be our vacation but turned out to be his own trouble ground.

Kakauwi lang namin galing ng barangay. We both settled in an cease fire agreement. Nagbayad din kami ng danyos sa isla. Hindi na nahantong sa demandahan dahil unang umurong ang sa kabilang kanto dahil sa ginawa nila nung una. Hindi ko alam kong bastos siya o obsession niya yung pagkuha ng litrato ng mga babae. Turns out that aside from me, he also have countless pictures of women. They are all stolen shots. Miski nga si Tiff at Amanda andoon din. Kaya hindi na rin namin sila kinasuhan pa. We are all wanted peace.

"Sana hindi mo na sila pinatulan" I scold while brushing the piece of cotton with an alcohol on his bruises.

I softly shrieked in surprise when he all of a sudden caught my hand and stop me from doing anything. I look at him. Anger is obviously shown at his eyes right now as he is staring at me, straight.

"I never regret any of my punches" he scowled then he let go of my hand as he averted his gaze away from me.

I can still able to see his clenched jaw. It brutal and sharp.

"Kahit maaaring kang makulong?" sangga ko.

"Kahit makulong pa" mabilis niyang sagot.

I stilled and just stared at him after he answered that.

"Why?" I curiously asked.

Bumaling siya sakin ng may mapagtakang itsura.

"What do you mean, why?" He asked.

Binaba ko ang mga kamay ko sa tuhod ko. "I mean, whh did you get angry? why are you not afraid to get to jail because of me and why are you acting this way?" sunod-sunod kong tanong.

I am dying to answer all my assumptions. I am trying to be brave her and ask everything I had in mind. I don't leave all my curiosity behind my coward shadows. I wanted a solid answer for my peace of mind. His answer will determine if I should really forget about him or still pursue this feeling because I can still a little hope for this. He showed me things that gave room for my what ifs.

His forehead wrinkled. Then he heave a sigh.

"I don't want any of you get disrespected" he answered.

It wasn't the answer I am yearning.

"Why?" I continued.

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo niya at naglasalubong ang kilay niya.

"You're my friend, Shein. Of course I want to defend you and I don't want you to get disrespected. You're important to be as much important with my sister" He said.

That's it. That is the answer I am looking for. Kaibigan. Kaibigan lang pala lahat ng ito. At least I know where I stand in his life now. I am just his friend. He is treating me as his friend and nothing beyond that.

I get it. I look away as I cleared my throat. Inayos ko lahat ng pinaggamitan namin. Masakit pala bagsakan ng katotohanan. Why is truth hurts? It stings to the core. Daig ko pa ang pinahiran ng alcohol.

"Ah sige, balik ko lang to sa may-ari. Babalik na rin ako kila Tiff, baka hinahanap na nila ako. Stop getting into fights again dahil next time, hindi ko na gagamutin yan" I told him then I stood up to ready to go.

I walked away from him and save myself for breaking down in front of them. My hand are shaking and I can see the medicine kit is also shaking because of it. I want to go to a close door and cry.