Oh My Captain

Ball 27

I grin clownly as I stood up when I saw Monique's figure approaching towards my direction. I repeated counted Mississippi while waiting for her here outside her condo.

" Oh inom tayo" lahad ko sa mukha niya sa bitbit kong ecobag na may lamang alak.

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin sabay tampal ng kamay ko. I silently chuckle.

"What the fuck, Shein!" I shouted. "Hulaan ko, siya na naman no?" she spats.

I did not respond. Instead, I turn me back and motioned her to open the door. Narinig ko ang pagsinghap niya. Nauna akong pumasok nang binuksan niya ang pinto. Dumeretcho ako hanggang sa sala. Nilapag ko doon ang ecobag. Nagtungo naman sa kusina si Monique pagkatapos bumalik din.

"Ang gago, ikakasal na pala pero nakipagsex pa sa akin!" palasak ko nang makabalik siya.

She sighed as if she is tired of hearing it. Monique is one of my go to friend everytime I am in trouble. Isa din siya sa mga nasandalan ko nung unang break-up namin. Even she has her own trouble to resolve, she still offer her shoulder when I need someone to cry on.And I am beyond grateful to her.

"Kahit sino naman hindi aamin na ikakasal siya kung gusto ka niyang magsex kayo" pranka niyang sabi. "Did you use protection?" kataas ng kilay niya.

Natauhan ako sa sagot niya at napaisip. Shit! we didn't!

My sadness decreases more. Napayuko at napailing na parang batang nakita sa akto. I heard her sigh.

"Pinutok niya ba sa loob?" bulgaran niyang tanong ulit.

Tumango ulit ako ng marahan habang pinagsaklop ang aking mga kamay. Nahihiya ako ngayon at the same time hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip ng kung ano-ano. I did not regret what happened to us because I permitted it. Nag-aalala lang ako dahil kung may mabuo paano niya kami pagtitimbangin? kailangan ay piliin siya at yun din ang kinatatakot ko ulit. The last time I asked him to choose, I went home empty handed and devastated.

"Edi congrats, after one month mommy kana!" sabi niya.

I suddenly became emotional, and so I am crying. I still haven't confirm it yet but what if meron nga? what shall I do? 

I covered my face with my palms.

"Sorry" she apologized while rubbing my back.

"It's okay. You are just being you kaya nga sayo ako tumawag e" nasinok pa ako.

"Meron akong pills doon. You can take one if you want. I will also recommend an OB for you" suhesyon niya.

I nodded.

"Lagi nalang niya ako pinaasa. Naniwala ako aa mga salita niya. His words are too beautiful that I didn't notice that it's prickly" I cried more.

"You believed his words because you trusted him" she said.

She is right. I believed him because I trusted him. Then I suddenly realized just now. If I trusted him; why am I crying over unconfirm information?

"Malaki ba bayag niya at hindi mo maiwan-iwan yung gagong yun?"

My mouth parted at her vulgar question. Classic Monique personality. I slapped her shoulder.

"Bigat ng kamay mo a" asik niya sa akin.

"Malaki" I confessed then bit my lower while blushing.

It's not just big, it's huge. Pinipigilan kong sumilay ang ngiti ko dahil sa hiya. Monique looks at me, amuse.

"Halata nga" sabi niya na kinapula lalo ng mukha ko.

"Nakailang round ba kayo lagi?" tanong niya pa.