Never Alone

Part 16

Lindsey stood, staring at himself in the mirror. He should have at least shaved if he hadn't made an effort with his clothes, but he didn't care. Lunch with Stevie did not go as planned. They were meant to spend a couple of hours together, engage in some easy conversation, enjoy each other's company. He returned home in a foul mood and was supposed to go out again, this time with Cheri? Maybe he should have cancelled. No, he should have cancelled. He shouldn't have even returned her call. He definitely shouldn't have mentioned it to Stevie. Meeting with friends, he said, couldn't he at least be honest?

Around 7:30 pm, Lindsey called himself a car. After the day he'd had, he was going to want a drink or two. Or three. Cheri had suggested a place they used to go to together and Lindsey was fine with it. As long as they weren't meeting at his or hers. He needed them to be in public, not in the privacy of theirs homes.

Cheri was already sitting in a booth, gripping a cocktail glass with her fingers. Lindsey guessed, she was nervous, so was he. Bad idea, terrible. Taking a deep breath, he passed through the crowd to approach her.

"Lindsey, hi!" Cheri grinned, jumping to her feet to give him a hug.

Feeling rather uncomfortable, Lindsey hugged her back with one arm and a weak smile. They sat down and he had absolutely no idea what to say.

"I'm really glad you're here." Cheri began, when he failed to open his mouth. "How was your vacation?"

"Oh, uh-" Lindsey faked a cough and raised his hand to catch the attention of a waiter. "It was alright. I needed to get away for a while." He lied and she didn't think to question him. "How have you been?"

"Not too bad." Cheri replied, resting her chin on her clenched fist. 

As she proceeded to tell him about things that had happened while they were separated, Lindsey took a moment to just look at her. She was younger than him, she was absolutely gorgeous and the dress she had picked out left little to the imagination. Besides, he already knew, she had a great body. Yet, somehow, he no longer felt that drawn to her. Attractive? Yes. Did he desire her? Not so much. Was it due to the fact the he had simply gotten over her or was it because the person he truly wanted wasn't sitting in front of him?

"So, yeah." Cheri pulled Lindsey back from his thoughts eventually. "When I came home from visiting my parents, I was by myself again and I just... I had you on my mind constantly, for weeks." She added, suddenly a little shy admitting that. "Have you been thinking about me at all?"

First, Lindsey took gulp from his glass to prolong the pause. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings, but what was the point of dragging this out and making things even worse? "Honestly? No, I haven't."

"Oh, I-" Cheri stopped, taken aback by his bluntness. "Then... why did you agree to see me?"

"Because I needed to." Lindsey said. "I needed to see you to realize some things."

"I don't- I don't know what to say." She gulped, feeling stupid and embarrassed. "And here I was, thinking that we might actually be able to work out our issues."

"I wasn't on vacation." Lindsey chose to tell her the truth about that as well. "I was with Stevie. She needed me, I was there for her. After some time away, we came home and I spent two weeks living with her."

"My God..." Cheri laughed without much humor in her voice. "I'm such an idiot."

"You're not." Lindsey shook his head. "You didn't know. And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here tonight. I get that it sounds cruel, but you've helped me realize what I really want. It's not you, Cheri, we're not meant to be together."

"Do you seriously believe that you and Stevie have a future?" She scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. "After you've failed how many times?"

"I do." He replied calmly. "And we might fail again, but I can't allow myself not to try again."