Never Alone

Part 15

"Would you like to trade?" Lindsey asked, noticing Stevie eyeing his salmon dish. "I don't mind."

"No." Stevie shook her head and picked up the cutlery to slice off a piece of her chicken breast. "This is fine, too, but I'm definitely getting the salmon next time, though."

Three days had gone by without any contact between them. When Lindsey woke up that morning, the first thing he did was call Stevie and ask her out to lunch. She was right, he already missed her. However, he didn't label their meeting as a date, he said, he just wanted to see her. Fine, she thought, but she wondered how much longer of this she would have to endure. They were pretty much together for nearly nine weeks, he repeatedly told her, he loved her, but he also wasn't sure if he wanted to be in a relationship. She tried not to consider that as a red flag, but it was becoming increasingly harder not to.

"So, what have you been up to?" Stevie asked, picking up her glass of water with a slice of lemon in it. 

"Uh, not much." Lindsey shrugged. "Getting used to being alone again. I've spent the majority of the past three days in my studio. I haven't played in forever, felt like I was picking up my guitar for the first time ever."

"You must have missed it." Stevie smiled somewhat sadly. Getting used to being alone again, he said and it stuck with her. "I'm actually going back into the studio next week, too."

"Oh, that's right! Your album." Lindsey nodded, using a napkin before gulping half a glass of coke. "Where is that at?"

"I had recorder most of the songs prior to going to rehab, but I've written a couple of new ones since then and I feel like they fit in with the rest perfectly, so I want to get them done as well." Talking about music always interested him and it no longer mattered that they were discussing her solo career, which would have ten years ago. She guessed, that was a good sign.

"I can't wait to hear it." Lindsey grinned, sounding completely sincere. "Are you planning on going on tour after the album's released?"

"Well, it's usually what follows." Stevie sighed and he frowned slightly, she didn't seem all that excited. "I would hate to leave for months without us... you know, having come to some sort of a conclusion."

Lindsey put down his fork, shifting in his seat. He looked somewhere past her shoulder into the distance, silent. 

"It's okay if you don't want to be with me, Lindsey." Stevie spoke up again even though it hurt saying those words aloud. "We can be friends, that's fine. I just don't like being kept in the unknown."

"I understand." Lindsey nodded. "I don't think that enough time has past for me to- to be able to answer you. You also have to understand that while you might be okay now, I'm not." He sighed, folding his arms over his chest, he leaned against the back of the chair. "I haven't completely given up alcohol, I'm still seeing my shrink. There are a lot of unresolved problems. I would hate if that interfered without our relationship and separated us again."

"Linds, you helped me." Stevie leaned forward to uncross his arms, she took his hand in hers. "Why can't I be the one to help you now?"

"Please... I need to do things my way for once." Lindsey looked at her, sounding as if he was pleading. "It doesn't meant that I want to stop seeing you altogether, just..."

"Alright." Stevie pulled back with a shrug. "Fine. Whatever you want."

Needless to say, things got awkward. Giving her a moment first, Lindsey then spoke up again, trying to steer the conversation into a completely different direction. Stevie's mood had definitely changed and while a bit resistant, she tried to keep the dialogue going.

After lunch, Lindsey suggested doing something else together, but Stevie asked to bring her home instead. The drive was silent and uncomfortable. When he pulled into the driveway, she suddenly felt bad, knowing he was going to leave as soon as she got out of his car.

"Maybe you'd like to come inside for a minute?" Stevie suggested, but Lindsey shook his head and her face fell.

"I'm sorry. Some other day." He forced a smile and added. "I'm meeting- some friends tonight, so..."

"Oh." That was the best response she could come up with now.

"Hey." Lindsey lay his hand on her thigh to catch her attention. "I'll call you, okay?" She shrugged. "I love you."

Stevie scoffed and opened the passenger's side door to get out.