Beyond Hope

Entry #17

April 15, 1976

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote here. To sum up everything that happened, Dorcas broke up with Davey after they got into a fight on how he continued to ignore her and would only gloat, so she was finished with him and ended up throwing her drink at him at Hogsmeade after he made some nasty remarks at her. She almost threw him out the window, but kept it in, and Marlene was so close to running out the room and to teach him a lesson when she learned what happened.

We also found out the reason why Remus was off that day on the full moon, he had forgotten to take the vials because his attention was solely on his studies and when he thought he had taken it, he actually didn't. Peter and James became the designated individuals to remind him monthly from now on.

Many things have happened in the past few months and just when I thought things would calm down for a bit. I've been proven wrong once more.

Evan is hovering over my seat, his hands on the bouquet of yellow dahlias as he moves it around a bit.

I had been receiving arrangements of yellow Dahlias every week, so my room was often filled by them, not a moment goes by that I don't think about the sender and now, the person who sent it could be the person in front of me.

Is he your secret admirer? A voice suddenly asks.

Tom? I ask in turn.

He's been intruding in my thoughts more and more for the past few days as well, before then he would only appear once in a while, but as the days kept passing, his voice became stronger and more frequent. Every time he appears in my head and speaks to me, I hear this awful ringing sound and a splitting headache. I used to think that I was just too tired and was imagining him every time he would speak, but the more he talked to me, the more I realized I wasn't crazy. If magic existed, this bastard who continued to intrude my brain would of course be real.

Who else would it be my lady? He asks, laughing.

His voice had this distinct sound to it, a husky honeyed tone. Appealing at first, but not after they've been in your dreams every month taking up your sleep to the point that you've been sleeping whenever you can outside of the nighttime and obviously not when he's in your head, refusing to give you time to think. That first time when he showed me that nightmare scarred me, he tried to make me forgive him and began to talk to me continuously, speaking about random topics whenever he appeared. The more that I think about it, I realize that he's never actually shown me his face, or anything aside from his voice. So I had no reason to trust him then and no reason to trust him now.

Leave me alone. I ordered as I rubbed my head, trying to ease the ringing that was blaring very loudly as he continued to speak.

But I want to see this drama. Tom told me, chuckling once more.

Just leave. There's nothing to see here Tom. I tell him, groaning.

Fine. He says, and I soon hear him rolling his eyes, however that works with the whole not seeing each other's face. I'll see you in our dreams my lady.

I roll my eyes before I officially walk into the room.

"Hey Evan." I called out.

Evan suddenly looks up at me, flustered. "Oh, El. Hey."

I smile at him. "Are you my little secret admirer?" I ask him.

He smiles back at the suggestion. "I may or may not be. But I won't deny I am an admirer."

I laugh as I take a seat. Evan is looking at me as I do.

"Can't take your eye off me can you Evan?" I joke.