Thanatophobia (Manthony)

Chapter 8

Mitchel

     I look both ways as Christian and I cross the crosswalk to get to the other side of the street. This was our first outing since we "announced" that we were back together, and I was really nervous. 

"Stop worrying," Christian says out of the blue. I look at him, confused. "I'm not wor-"

Christian gently grabs my wrist and pulls me off to the side of the sidewalk, away from the crowd of people walking one way or another. "I took you out so you'd stop thinking so much," He explains, interrupting me mid-sentence. 

I shrug, not knowing what to say. "That's kinda hard when I'm always thinking about something." Christian purses his lips at my reply. He gently places his hand on the back of my head, pulling me in so he could kiss me on my forehead. A blush creeps onto my cheeks, making me internally roll my eyes at myself. 

"What are you so worried about?" Christian asks, looking directly into my eyes. He seemed genuinely curious. I sheepishly shrug my shoulders. 

"Everything's kind of difficult, I guess. I don't like going against Clinton's wishes." Christian frowns. He cocks his head to one side as he comes up with an answer in his head. 

"Do you always do what he says?" Christian asks as a slight smirk finds its way to his lips. I wanted to be annoyed by the question, but Christian had a point. I shake my head no. 

Then again, whenever I didn't listen to Clinton, it was always something minor. Not listening to Clinton this time felt worse than it ever had before. 

Our band, reputation, and much more were at stake whether we liked it or not. 

"Mitty, it's not like we broke the law. There's nothing wrong with being honest about who we are. Thousands, if not millions of people have known we dated before. So what's different about our relationship now?" 

I lick my dry lips. "I hope a lot of things are different." I mutter. Christian sighs. I looked up at him, worried he would get upset about my response and we would get into another argument.

 But instead, he remains silent as he looks away from me. He takes his sunglasses off and rests them on top of his head.

"Things are much different. You know this, don't you?" I nod my head without thinking. I didn't necessarily agree nor believe Christian was telling the truth. I wanted to, but trust is earned.

 Clinton's negative words were beginning to plague my thoughts. 

I was doubting Christian, and we hadn't even been back together for a month. 

It felt pathetic. 

     I wanted to believe his intentions were pure and that we would last this time, but after being broken up with so many times, lied to, and hurt...eventually, you begin to think that the same thing is bound to happen again. 

"Mitchel and Christian?" I aggressively bite the bottom of my lip as I knew there were a bunch of cameras on us now. "Damnit," I mutter as I turn around to face the paparazzi. "Hi," I reply awkwardly. Christian greets them as well, and we continue to walk down the sidewalk. "Is it true that you guys are back together?" One man asks. 

He maneuvers around Christian and I and walks in front of us instead. 

"It is," I smile. "We're very happy." I tell him as I place my hand into Christian's.