Thanatophobia (Manthony)

Chapter 26

Christian

     "Whenever you're ready," The jailer says to me, motioning for me to walk into the room where I saw other people talking to inmates through the unbreakable glass. I take a breath and walk down the narrow room to the last empty seat. 

I awkwardly sit down on the hard plastic chair. 

The door to the other side of the glass opens. An officer walks through, Travis walking behind him with his hands in handcuffs. 

Travis turns to face the officer, who takes the handcuffs off. 

He sits across from me, picking up the phone on the left side of the wall. I do the same, holding the phone up to my ear. Everything I wanted to say immediately escaped me. 

"How are you doing?" I ask instead. Travis shrugs, looking disheveled. "Not my first rodeo," He responds. I nod, not knowing what I should say. 

"How are you?" Travis asks back. "I'm fine," I say into the phone, looking into Travis's brown eyes sincerely. 

"Why are you here, Christian?" Travis asks me. I open my mouth to speak but close it just as fast. 

"I-I wanted to say that I'm sorry." I admit. Travis shurgs. "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime," Travis jokes, a light laugh escaping his lips. "When is your next court date?" I ask. 

"In like a month. If I plead guilty, I'll probably get less than six years." 

"I'm sorry," I say. Travis shrugs, looking away from me. "It was my fault." He says. "I put twenty dollars in your commissary," I tell Travis. "I was wondering where that came from." Travis smiles. "Thanks." He adds.  

     I nod. "I have a lot of time to think in here," Travis looks into my eyes; sadness is written all over his face. "I don't know if it's my place to this, but I'm gonna say it anyway." 

I grip the phone harder in my hand. "Obviously, I was never as close to Mitty as you are, but we were together, and I never meant to hurt him, the same way I know you never meant to hurt him either." 

"Right," I mutter. "But, you do know you are hurting him?" Travis asks me. "Yeah," I whisper. "Mitty meant a lot to me. He still does, and all I ever wanted was the best for him. I never told him about my past because I knew it would change everything," Travis shrugs, a sigh coming through the phone.

 "Not that I would blame him. I can say I didn't know how old she was all I want, but that doesn't change the reality of it all," Travis bites down on his lip. "I made a mistake, and I regret it every day. I wanted to be better, but what I did will always follow me. He was bound to find out someday,"

     I feel a lump form in my throat. I knew precisely what Travis was saying to me. "You can try and hide from what happened between you and Jordan. Both of you can keep it a secret forever, and you can die with it on your conscience, but you will forever lie to him."

I look away, suppressing my tears as much as possible. "He deserves to know, Christian." 

"I know," I say into the phone, my voice breaking. "I just wanted this to work for once." I tell Travis. 

"I told him things would be different this time," I cry into the phone. "I promised."

"If you love him, if you truly love him the way I think you do, you'll put your feelings aside and tell him." Travis replies.