Thanatophobia (Manthony)

Chapter 13

Christian

     I slip my hand into Mitchel's as we walk along the side of the beautiful blue ocean. He smiles to himself as he looks around at everyone enjoying themselves. 

He was perfect. 

The perfect son. The perfect brother. The perfect friend. The perfect boyfriend. 

He was everything the world thought I was. 

     "I gotta question," Mitchel says. I squeeze his hand endearingly, looking back at him with curiosity. "Of course, hit me." I reply. He hesitates for a moment, looking back out to the ocean. 

"How did you find out about Travis?" He asks. My breathing hitches. 

I knew he would ask me about this eventually, but not this soon. How I found out about Travis being convicted of statutory rape was embarrassing, to say the least. 

"I was on Instagram one day. He popped up in my recommended section since you follow him. I clicked on his account to see what he was up to. I started to go through his tagged photos, and someone had posted his mugshot," I admit. 

Mitchel deserved to know the truth about his ex-boyfriend, but the way he found out was cruel. 

"I thought it was just an edit or something, but when I did a background check on him," I pause for a moment, feeling embarrassed by my previous actions. I look at Mitchel, studying his face for a second to see if I could get a glimpse of what he was thinking. 

Unfortunately for me, he had no reaction to what I was saying. His face was blank. 

"When I did the background check," I repeat. "The same photo popped up. It gave me the date when he was arrested, why, and whatever else." 

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" 

"I thought you knew," I stupidly say. Mitchel lets go of my hand, looking at me with disgust. 

"When would I have known? Even if I had, I would have told you. I tell you everything."

I wish I could say the same back. 

"Mitchel," I stop walking, forcing Mitchel to stop as well. He looks at me, confused. 

"Why do you keep coming back to me?" Mitchel smiles, grabbing ahold of my other hand with his. "Because I love you," He says. 

"Anyone would walk away for good after all I've done," 

"I'm not anyone," Mitchel cocks his head to one side, looking into my eyes intently. "What if things were reversed? Would you leave me?" 

     The truth was, I would leave him. I would have left and never given him another chance if he kept pushing me back and forth the way I did to him.

I would leave if I knew he fucked my best friend multiple times. I would leave if he told me he wasn't sure if he loved me. I would leave without hesitation if I knew he was still sneaking behind my back. 

Anyone would leave, but he didn't know any of that, which is the only reason we were holding hands on a beach.

"Maybe," I mumble. "You deserve better,"