All Is Not Lost

Chapter 10

Change

I avoided Santi with all my might since that day.

Lagi niya akong sinusubukang lapitan o i-approach para magkausap kami, pero lagi ko rin namang pinapangunahan at sinasabihang busy ako.

It went like that for weeks. Kadalasan ay sa umaga niya ako sinusubukang kausapin. He transferred back here, so I guess he has a lot of explaining to do to his profs and ghosted block mates.

Ngayong umaga, pagkatapos ko pa lang bumili ng pineapple juice sa caf ay nakita ko na agad siya. He's looking at me like he's been searching for me amidst the crowd. When I saw him sigh before he take one step closer, I showed him my juice and smiled, then I left.

College is nowhere getting easy for me. Kaya nang mabanggit ni Laylin sa akin ng hapon na iyon na magkakaroon siya ng birthday party ngayong gabi, um-oo ako sa kaniya. She was just waiting for my answer before she ask my parents about it. Kaya noong makauwi na ako sa bahay ay aware na aware na ang pamilya ko dahil naipagpaalam na niya ako.

"Ma'am, maligo na raw po kayo sa taas at bibihisan na namin kayo," ani sa akin ng isang helper.

Kumunot ang kilay ko sa kaniya. "Pool party iyong birthday ni Laylin, 'di ba? Doon na ako maliligo ulit."

"You wouldn't do that. It's inappropriate. Kailangan fresh at maganda ka pagpunta mo roon, hindi iyong parang ligo lang ang dinayo mo," Mommy said and looked at me from upstairs.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at sumunod na lang. Mommy made me wear two piece black swimsuit and pink co ords as a cover-up on top of it. Gusto ko sana ay iyong one piece swimsuit na lang pero kapag umangat ang damit ko ay makikita iyon. Two piece is better for hiding, I guess. Hindi rin naman ako maghuhubad doon.

They blow dried my hair, so it wouldn't be obvious that I took a bath. Nilagyan ako ni Mommy ng kaunting powder, blush, at lipstick sa mukha. When I finished getting ready, they handed me a tote bag with my things inside it and a pair of sandals.

Wala na pala talaga akong dapat pang intindihin?

Paglabas ko ng aking silid ay sumalubong sa akin si Daddy. He gave me a handful of cash and a paper bag. "I bought a designer bag for your friend. Give it to her as your gift, okay? And here's some cash. Go treat her something nice!" Tinapik pa niya ako a likod pagkatapos no'n.

Pangiwi akong ngumiti sa kaniya at tumango, despising the fact that they go all out for friends and connections.

When they dropped me at Laylin's house, the party was already starting. Nagulat ako sa sobrang dami ng tao! Malawak naman ang pool nina Laylin na kahit pumunta kaming lahat doon ay kasya kami, pero hindi ko inaasahang ganito talaga karami ang inimbitahan niya!

Sinalubong niya ako sa bukana pa lang. She left her other friends to accompany me, but I don't want her to do that for the rest of the night because I don't have anyone to talk to in this party.

"Your friends are calling you. Pasok muna ako para maibaba ang gamit ko," I told her and went inside their house.

Kaya ko pa rin namang magliwaliw kahit mag-isa. Baka magalit pa lalo sa akin iyong ibang nandito dahil sinosolo ko ang birthday celebrant.

I left my bag inside Laylin's room just like she told me. Pagbaba ko ay kumuha ako ng isang mangkok ng chips at beer. I don't really drink. Bilang lang sa daliri ang beses na uminom ako sa tanang buhay ko pero pwede ko naman sigurong dagdagan iyon ngayon.

The party went on and on. Julian saw me drinking beer while watching peppa pig in their living room with other people. Nakangisi siyang lumapit sa akin at tumabi saglit.