All Is Not Lost

Chapter 11

Highly suggested to listen to:
Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex while reading this chapter.
if bitin, try listening to the 1 hour version :)
enjoy reading!

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Kiss

"But... I don't want you to change me for the better, I wanted to change myself to be better for you," he added and caressed my hair.

Hinawakan niya ang mga kamay kong nakapirmi sa balikat niya galing sa yakap kanina. He held my hands and brought it to his lips. "I like you, Kallista Annistin."

The loud music vanished and the faint voices vanished with it. Napalitan ng katahimikan ang paligid namin at ang tugtog ay napalitan ng mas mahinahong kanta. Cigarettes After Sex' Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby was playing at the huge speakers downstairs. The party has probably calmed down.

Napamaang ako sa gulat dahil sa sinabi niya. Because... this is one of the two things that I realized back in the pool. Aside from the realization that I relied on him too much.

When I felt a different sensation the moment his skin met mine, I had an idea that I like him... more than friends. That the kind of pain that I endured without him was caused by my feelings. Because I like him.

Binawi ko ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya para ako naman ang makahawak sa mga kamay niya. I squeezed his hands and tried to cover it with mine.

"Well, g-guess what," nanginig ang boses ko dahil sa lamig at pati na rin sa katotohanan na takot akong harapin. "I like you, too, Santana Ranollo."

Kung nagulat ako sa sinabi niya kanina, parang mas gulat siya sa sinabi ko ngayon. Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya at natawa nang hilahin niya ako palapit.

"I didn't confess my feelings to hear you say it, too. I'm not pressuring you, Kalli. I'm willing to pursue you," aniya at bagaman nagulat sa sinabi ko kanina ay mukhang hindi na siya naniniwala ngayon.

I chortled. "I mean it."

"Do you really mean it?" mas maingat niyang tanong sa akin at nakatitig nang mariin sa mga mata ko.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa namumula niyang labi bago ko ibinalik sa mga mata niya ang paningin. Slowly, I held onto his hair and pulled him closer so our lips would meet. I don't know how to kiss. That's certain. But it's not what occupied my mind. While we were kissing, all I could think about is my desire to let him know my feelings. My love for him.

"You're drunk, Kalli." Bahagya akong inilayo ni Santi sa kaniya.

"I sobered up. I'd be sleeping if I'm drunk," I whispered and kissed him again. Sleeping is what I do when I get drunk. I don't do hasty decisions or say what I couldn't say when I'm sober. I sleep. I just sleep.

Santi didn't respond to my kisses at first, but at the second time around, he led me. Sinikop niya ako sa gitna ng halikan namin at pinaupo sa kaniya para mas malapit. Nakakapit ako sa buhok niya at idinidiin siya sa akin habang ang mga kamay niya ay paulit-ulit na hinahaplos ang kaliwang hita ko at ang isa naman ay naghahanap sa likod ko pero nananatili lang doon.

After a while, he started kissing me with his tongue. I obediently opened my mouth and his tongue claimed every corners of it. Our way of kissing right now awakened something inside my body. Ayaw akong patigilin ng sensasyong iyon. I want more and more of his kisses. I'm craving for it.