All Is Not Lost

Chapter 4

Verceles

"What do you think about it?" tanong ni Santi sa akin habang inaalalayan ako sa pagtayo. I need to use the bathroom. Ate Rex went home after dropping foods and Santi's raiment. Ayaw pa niya noong una, pero kalaunan au tumango rin at umalis na.

Hawak ni Santi ang IV fluid ko at ako naman ay dahan-dahang itinatayo ang sarili. I'm wearing a hospital gown and when I asked him about it, he said that the nurse regularly change my clothes.

I couldn't care less.

"Did you call anyone or informed anyone about my condition?" tanong ko pabalik at kinuha na sa kaniya ang IV fluid.

Umiling siya sa akin pagkatapos ay inabutan ako ng isang paper bag. "I figured that you doesn't want me to."

Good. I sighed.

So, for almost two days of hearing nothing from me, wala namang nakakapansin.

"Kailan ako puwede ma-discharge?" I asked again while I was looking at what was inside the paper bag.

"Tomorrow. That's raiment and toiletries." He pointed to the paper bag.

I felt an intense heat spreading upwards from my neck when I saw some undergarments with it. Lacey ang design at kung hindi puti ay itim naman ang kulay.

Tumango ako sa kaniya at kaagad naman niyang sinarado ang pinto.

"Dito lang ako sa labas."

While I was taking a warm bath, I was thinking about the situation that I am in.

If I go home without a liable explanation, Dad will probably hit me.

I shivered at the thought. They won't let me off the hook unless I say something that they can research further. Iyong kapag sinabi ko as a reason, ma-che-check nila ang background kung totoo.

If I say that I was hospitalized because I was sick, they'll ask the reason why I am sick. If they discover that I tried to do it again, they can do a lot of things. Include me in recovery groups, hit me, take everything that I have left, or. . . the thing that I fear the most, sending me to a mental hospital.

What will happen if I say that I needed to stay in my friend's condo because of school projects? For a week? That's unbelievable, but they'll believe that more. They'll treasure everything related to academics.

If I'll be honest, staying with the Verceles is quite tempting. I want to know what happens in their household for them to be that. . .warm and... if I can have that warm, too.

Pero talaga bang magpapabigat pa ako sa kanila? They probably have a lot of things to do. Busy si Santi sa kurso niya kaya paano kapag dumagdag pa ako sa mga iniisip niya?

I stared at my wrist while the hot shower was flowing over me. This healing scar on my wrist is proof of how much I despise it to go home.

Kung hindi ako uuwi sa amin, kung hindi ako papayag sa offer nina Ate Rex, saan naman ako pupunta?

Sa dorm ni Kuya? Hotel? Or should I search for a condo?

That would cost me a huge money for sure. Mababawasan ang pera ko para sa libing.

I sighed and dabbed the towel all over my body to dry myself. Pagkatapos noon ay binalik ko na iyong ginamit kong shampoo, soap, at loofah sa pouch na nasa loob ng paperbag. I struggled to put on a bra, but I managed to put it by clasping it together on my front before rotating it to my back.

"Sino naman kayang bumili nito?" bulong-bulong ko sa sarili ko nang mapagtanto na kasyang-kasya sa akin iyon.

I was so tempted to remove my dextrose to get everything easier. Kung wala akong kasama sa labas na mabilis ma-concern, baka nagawa ko na talaga iyon.