All Is Not Lost

Chapter 7

Happiest

"What do you want from me?" I sighed and sat at the table of his office here on the farm.

Napamaang siya sa gulat nang marinig akong magsalita. I was being impertinent, I'm aware. But he does not deserve the respect either.

He cleared his throat and fixed his necktie before talking. His attitude of being a surly person seems to have vanished when he saw how I act around him. "How have you been, Ranollo? You rarely go home and you didn't visit the farm for years. Mabuti na lang at nagkataon na nakauwi ako ngayon dito at nagkita tayo! So, how are you?"

His words vex me minute by minute. Wala akong ibang maisip kundi si Kalli na naghihintay sa labas. I want to get this talk done, so I can go back to her. Baka maubos niya pa iyong wine kahihintay sa akin.

I smiled at the thought.

Kalli and I have a huge difference. I grew up isolated, alone, and aloof. My classmates and potential friends feared my father and stayed away. He made them feel despicable and unworthy of being my friend.

While Kalli... how do I describe her?

People are drawn to her. People secretly like her.

She's awfully kind. I remember when she became the campus' topic for a week when she shared her meal with a guy who got bullied in the cafeteria. Usap-usapan noon na nakita siyang kumakain sa may soccer field kasama iyong lalaki.

What a lucky guy.

She's quiet when she's surrounded by people, but she has a lot to say when you're alone together. She's open to hearing your opinions, criticisms, and comments about things. She's patient.

She's the kind of girl who's alone because it's either people are too shy to befriend her or they envy her. She's the kind of girl you rarely see during parties and in a blink of an eye, she vanishes. Everyone wants to see her Instagram feed, but she's on private. Everyone wonders what song she's listening to when she skates on campus with headphones on.

She's the kind of girl people write about, the leading lady in a book, or the side character that gets the attention more than the main lead. She's the girl people write songs for. The kind of girl people would die for.

And most of them think that she's too good for them, too unreal, too bright, and they stay away because they think they'll dull her.

I'm most of them, but I don't exactly want to stay away.

I want to get closer.

"I'm... fine..." I answered, remembering Kalli, but my trauma knocked my senses. "when I don't see you around."

Tumikhim ulit siya at nag-iwas saglit ng tingin. After a while, he looked at me again with a smile on his face.

"Nabisita mo na ba ang Mama mo? I talked to her doctor and they said she can go home after a month or two—"

"How can you pretend as if nothing happened?" Saan ka kumukuha ng lakas ng loob at kakapalan ng mukha? I wanted to add but I chose to limit my words.

"Ranollo, I'm trying to—"

"Excuse me," malamig kong tugon bago pa siya makapagsal ita ulit.

I smiled upon seeing Kalli. Lumingon siya sa akin at ngumiti rin.

"Are you done discussing things with your father?" Nag-inat siya at umayos ng upo.