All Is Not Lost

Chapter 12

Introduce

"Ma, I know you think I'm strong for trying to rebel when I heard about my fixed marriage, but I can't be a strong woman when it comes to my kids. He is hurting Ranollo!" Humagulgol si Mama at sumulyap sa akin.

I went near her to calm her down despite not knowing the reason why she is crying.

"No! I don't want to leave my son with him! Mamamatay si Ranollo kung masasaktan siya nang masasaktan ng hayop na lalaking 'yon!"

When she mentioned my name for the second time, my five-year-old brain thought that I'm related to the reason why she is crying.

"Mama, don't cry. Ranollo's not hurt," I told her with an assuring smile.

"Oh, Ranollo." Umiyak lalo si Mama at binitiwan ang telepono bago ako hinigit palapit para mayakap. "I'm so sorry, anak."

Since that day she discovered that Papa is hurting me, she always brings me to where she works. But something happened when a big guy talked to Mama and said something about bringing her son to work.

It was fun staying at Mama's workplace. I don't do the math, I don't do taekwondo, I don't do anything I don't like. I'm just doodling and watching Mama work.

"Anak ko rin si Ranollo! May karapatan akong magdesisyon sa buhay niya!"

Papa found Mama's place one day and he hurt her. Mama tried her best to fight back and hide me in her room, but I couldn't stay still when her head hit the table and she lost consciousness.

"You are bad! You are bad! Bad Papa!" Sigaw ko kay Papa nang subukan niya akong buhatin palayo kay Mama. "Ayaw ko sa 'yo! I like Mama!"

When Mama became okay after what happened, she brought me to her parents' house. Lolo and Lola's mansion!

It was a huge house. They have dogs and cats and I was happy more than ever. My siblings sometimes visit me. Most of the time, si Kuya Reonaru ang bumibisita sa akin.

He brings me sweets and toys. Lagi niya akong tinatanong kung ano ang gusto ko gawin at iyon nga ang ginagawa namin kapag bumibisita siya. Play.

We were doing fine until Mama started doing unusual things. They said it was because of her trauma from all the beatings her husband did to her and was later on advised to stay in a mental institution.

Eventually, Papa retrieved me from Lolo's house because apparently, he has more right over me. I was six years old then and I was sent to a good school where my siblings go.

I studied so hard for my mother. I wanted to be the best in everything, so I can give her an easy life. And I also thought it was the key to seeing her. Hindi siya tumatanggap ng bisita kahit kaming magkakapatid. I figured it was for the better and perhaps she was also scared.

But I miss her.

"Stay there! Hindi ka puwedeng lumabas hangga't hindi ka nakakapagsulat ng one to one thousand!" My father slammed the door between us and locked me inside that room for the whole day. I cried and cried, but later on, I just tried to write numbers like what he wanted.

I like studying, but I hate it when someone forces me to. Lalo na kapag dinaraan sa pananakit.

I love being at school.