Precious Virtue ✓

Chapter 16: Craving Your Love

Precious Virtue

Chapter XVI: Craving Your Love

[Preston's POV]

I was slowly spinning out of control and I didn't know how to stop it. I couldn't go a day without drinking at least one bottle of beer or some other kind of substance, because if I did, my emotions would creep up on me tenfold, and the only way to take the edge off was to drink. I also didn't want to deal with the crippling headache and nausea that came with not drinking. Drinking at this point was the only way I could keep myself regulated.

Along with the crippling stress and emotions that plagued me constantly, there were times when I just felt nothing—there was a constant empty void within myself and I needed to fill it with something, but nothing would fill it. I was just chronically empty all the time, and I hated the feeling of it.

"There's a party happening tonight, one of my classmates told me about it," Blaire announced, sipping on her milkshake. My roommates and I went for lunch after our classes this morning, and so we stopped by a local diner in town and ordered food and milkshakes. But while they busied themselves chatting, I was staring out the window, watching cars drive by on the roads.

"Oh yeah? I didn't think there would be one this week, considering next week's Halloween," Primrose replied, taking a bite out of her BLT.

"Think of it as like a pre-Halloween party," Blaire grinned, "I think it'll be fun! It's a bonfire party. Do you guys want to go?"

"Sure, why not? It sounds like fun," Elijah smiled. Flores hummed and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I'm in."

"Okay, sweet! What about you, Preston?" Blaire spoke up from beside me. I didn't actually hear her or notice she was talking to me until she tapped me on the shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts. I blinked and glanced over at her.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was asking if you were up for going to a party tonight," Blaire said, frowning as she looked at me. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that Elijah was also staring at me directly across from me with a concerned look, but I brushed their gazes off and sighed.

"Yeah, sure. A party sounds good."

"Are you okay, Preston? You seem a little spaced out," Blaire asked.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired from midterms," I replied, sipping at my chocolate milkshake. Blaire nodded her head, though she was still frowning.

"How do you guys think you did on the midterms?" Primrose cut in.

"I didn't do too bad, I think," Flores replied, "some of the questions were a bit challenging, but I think I passed at least."

"I'm confident that I did well on my calculus and algebra exam, but as for chemistry? I probably failed that," Elijah laughed, "chemistry isn't really my strong suit."

"Oh, I'm sure we all did well. Even if we didn't, it's only our first year, and we're still adjusting," Blaire chimed in.

For the next hour or so, conversation bounced between my roommates, and all I did was listen as I ate my lunch, sipped my milkshake, and looked out the window. I didn't have much to talk about with them, nor did I want to. I just wanted to sit quietly in my own bubble, and just be. That's all I wanted more days than not, to be by myself in my dorm and never get out of bed, but I also didn't want to fail my classes, no matter how stressed out and moody I was. So most days I had no choice but to get out of bed and go to lectures and labs.

At least the semester was almost over. One more month before exams, and then I'd be able to go home for Christmas break for three weeks. I'd get to see my dad again, see Adrien, our friends, and my dog Kodey.