Precious Virtue ✓

Chapter 8: Dr. Wynters

Precious Virtue

Chapter VII: Dr. Wynters

[Adrien's POV]

I was nervous about my therapy appointment. Just thinking about the appointment had my heart racing and my hands shaking. Katelin had assured me that the new psychologist she referred me to was great at her job and that she was good friends with her, but it still didn't make me any less nervous.

I knew Katelin. I've been talking with her about my problems since April, and I have had a good relationship with her. I knew my therapy sessions with her were limited from the start, but still.

I was going to have to develop a new relationship with my new psychologist, and that wouldn't happen overnight. And while I gave Katelin permission to transfer my records, it still felt like I had to start over.

I sighed heavily, biting my lip. I thanked the bus driver as I stepped out, and walked the short distance until I arrived at the tall medical building.

I stared up at the building, nerves bubbling inside me. I closed my eyes, feeling the cool wind brushing against my face, and took a deep breath to calm myself down.

I headed inside the building and got on the elevator. My anxiety got worse by the time I arrived on the third floor, reached the psychology office, talked to the receptionist, and sat down in the waiting area.

I tapped my foot against the ground, fiddling my fingers together. I took deep breaths, willing myself to calm down.

"Adrien?" I lifted my head when I heard my name called. Dr. Wynters stepped into the waiting room with a friendly smile on her face, and I briefly returned the gesture as I stood up from my seat.

"Yeah, that's me," I replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Adrien, I'm Dr. Wynters, but you can just call me Harley," She greeted kindly, and held out her hand. I shook her hand. Then, she gestured to me to follow, "my office is just down this way."

I followed her down the short hallway until we reached her office, and she opened the door and led me inside. Her office was a decent size—there was a brown leather couch and wood coffee table across from her desk, and there were bookshelves filled with books lined up across one side of the room. The walls were a light brown that went with the wooden floors.

"Have a seat, Adrien," Harley said, gesturing to the couch. I nodded, biting my lip as I sat down on the couch, while she moved and sat down in her desk chair, and turned to face me. She smiled, "nervous?"

"A little bit, yeah..." I laughed lightly, shrugging off my jacket and setting it down beside me, "obviously it's not my first time in therapy, but it's just...a new place."

"Yeah, that's completely understandable," She laughed, "it's always hard switching therapists after you've been with one for so long. But fortunately, Katelin sent me your records, and I went through them before our session. But I do want to talk about everything in your records for a few sessions, just so that I can hear a summary from you and hopefully catch up to where you two left off. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," I nodded.

"Okay, perfect," Harley smiled. She reached over to her desk, grabbed the folder, and set it on her lap, "so, I'm aware she diagnosed you with Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and that you're on medication for that. How is that going for you?"

"Uh, it's going pretty well. Sometimes it makes it hard to feel anything. I'm just mellow all the time I guess? Like I can't feel happy to the same extent as I used to if that makes sense. But it prevents me from getting in a really low mood, so I'm grateful for that."

Harley nodded, "it's normal for people to feel a bit emotionally stunted on antidepressants, actually. It's very common. But I'm glad that the medication seems to be working for you."

The hour session went by pretty fast. Harley and I talked about the work I did with Katelin. I went back and started where Katelin and I started, which was the incident with Carter and Marci. The sessions I had with Katelin, we worked backwards, starting with high school and worked back as far as kindergarten.

We just started getting into stuff from my childhood when I had to stop seeing Katelin, and when I was just getting comfortable enough to talk about it. But now, I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it.

I was still uncomfortable thinking about what happened with Carter, because it was still fairly fresh. I just wanted to forget about it and move on, but sometimes it was hard. Sometimes I would wake up from nightmares, of what Carter did to me, and what it felt like to be bullied by my peers. Little things would trigger memories, and so I always tried to distract myself by drawing or painting.

Distractions could only work for so long though.

When the session was over, I booked another therapy session for next week and headed out. I walked back outside into the cool autumn air, the wind brushing against my face, and waited at the bus stop.

When I got back to campus, I headed to the campus coffee shop, ordered myself a white hot chocolate and a cranberry scone, and sat by myself in a booth, wanting to be by myself for a little while.

I put in my earphones and listened to one of my music playlists while I sipped my hot chocolate and snacked away at my scone. My mind wandered to Preston, whom I haven't talked to in a few days, and then to Luka, whom I haven't messaged since yesterday after what happened between us.

Our almost kiss. I still didn't know how to feel about it. I liked having Luka as a friend. I liked having someone to talk to, who could understand my love for art, and it was just easy to talk to him. I didn't want to jeopardize that.

And Preston. He seemed so busy all the time, and I missed talking to him everyday. I knew it was going to be difficult since we are going to different universities, but I didn't think it would be this hard. There was a huge space between us and I hated it because we were still working on our mending friendship. The distance didn't make it any easier.

I released a heavy sigh, shaking my head as I took another sip of my white hot chocolate. I hated those days where everything seemed duller. Like the world around me had less colour.

Today was one of those days. I didn't want to think any longer, so I pushed all my thoughts away, and instead pulled out my art history homework, and focused on that instead.

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A/N: I apologize for the lack of updates! I've been busy with school and I'm pouring most of my time into that and therapy, so I hadn't had much energy to write or any motivation. I only have a few weeks left until Christmas break and I only have a few more therapy sessions left (I'm in a program) so I'm hoping to get some more writing done soon....so bear with me!

Love you guys, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!