Precious Virtue ✓

Chapter 34: Covet & Conquer

Precious Virtue

Chapter XXXIV: Covet & Conquer

[Preston's POV]

The first night I spent in rehab was one of the hardest. After I had a medical evaluation with the nurse and they checked all my items, I was brought up to my room where I just laid down and slept for the rest of the day. But when nightfall hit and I woke up, I struggled to fall back asleep.

I was up for most of that night with horrible tremors, headaches, cravings, and nausea. So the following day, I was given medication to help with my detox symptoms and then I was sent for a long psychiatric evaluation, where I had to answer a bunch of different questions and questionnaires. I was also given a lengthy tour of the rehab centre.

That first week I barely did anything but sleep. The detox took a large toll on me, despite the fact that I was given medications to help with the process. My body was weak and I was exhausted all the time. I barely had any strength to do anything. Not only did the first week take a huge physical toll on me, but it took a mental toll on me as well.

I found myself unable to cope with the rollercoaster of emotions that I fought hard to ignore. I could no longer drink them away and avoid them like I had been doing before.

What if getting me into rehab had been a ploy? What if after the four weeks were up, Elijah, Adrien, and my roommates decided they wanted nothing to do with me? I wasn't allowed visitors during detox and I had no way of contacting them. What if they didn't want to visit me?

Elijah may have forgiven me, and Adrien may have said he was going to be here for me, but I couldn't help the thoughts. I was a horrible person. I caused a lot of pain while being intoxicated. I caused Adrien pain back in high-school when I hadn't been there for him, and even if Adrien forgave me for it, I would never forgive myself. I was a monster. A fucking monster. I didn't deserve to be here, I didn't deserve the chance to get better.

I hated it. I hated it so much. I craved a drink so badly because I wanted these thoughts and feelings to go away. But I couldn't make them go away. Instead of drowning them away with a drink, they drowned me instead.

When the second week rolled by, things got a bit better. My detox symptoms had finally calmed down, and while they weren't completely gone, like my cravings, they were nowhere near as intense. Every morning I would wake up at six thirty in the morning for breakfast, and after that, I had a meditation and yoga class. After that, I often worked out in the gym for about an hour before I began my first group therapy of the day. In the afternoon, I would eat lunch and have more group therapy, as well as my one-on-one therapy with my psychologist. Then, in the evening, would be dinner, a relapse prevention class, and my 12-step meetings.

It was a lot, attending therapy all day while trying to juggle my schoolwork in between. Thankfully, My professors were kind enough that when I let them know what was going on, they have been sending me recorded lectures so that I didn't have to go to class. They also gave me alternate assignments for labs.

But I didn't mind the busy days. It kept my mind occupied. If I was focusing on something else, I didn't have time to succumb to my thoughts. It made my days more bearable, and it also helped that I was allowed visitors now. Adrien had already visited me once, as well as Elijah. My dad was also planning on visiting me within the next couple of weeks, so I was looking forward to that as well.

"How are things today, Preston?" My psychologist, Marlowe, asked me. She sat in her usual spot across from me on a chair next to her desk, one leg crossed over the other.

"Things are fine. I uh, had drum therapy today?" I replied, crossing both my legs on the couch, and wringing my hands together in my lap. "I didn't even know that was a thing."