Teardrops on a Sketch Pad

Kabanata 4: Mr. PWD

[Xylandria's POV]

"Ako na ang magsasara ng office, may kukunin lang ako sa kabilang building," ani Mr. Gutierrez at agad naman akong napatango.

"Miss Rodriguez, why do you look so gloomy? I feel bad knowing you're not in the mood to work." Nag-aalalang pansin ni Mr. Gutierrez na kanina pa ako walang gana.

I started working with a burden inside my chest. I can't focus on my work because of overthinking. Isasauli ko na ba? I mean, hindi ko pa natatapos. After I finished reading the Flightless Angel, I know there are more painful messages inside the sketch pad.

"Ayos lang ako, Sir. Nagkainuman lang kagabi kaya may hang-over pa." Pagsisinungaling ko at agad namang kumawala ang ngisi sa labi ni Mr. Gutierrez.

"Alright then. Bibilisan kong makabalik para makauwi ka agad."

I continued sorting the documents and I rolled my eyes when the sketchpad inside my bag keeps distracting.

"Fine, heto na. I want to know who you are, Mr. PWD." Tapos naman ako sa trabaho ko and I bet Mr. Gutierrez won't mind.

I saw a full moon with stars having such intensity. Below, there are sakura trees that are about to wither. The moon is very eye-catching that you won't even notice that there are dying trees underneath.

To be able to shine within, we need to have sacrifices... even if it means hurting others. Being selfish that you don't realize that you're actually shining outside and dying from inside. All we need is acceptance from both other people and ourselves. You don't need to shine just to be happy, but keep glowing.

Habang dumadami ang nababasa ako ay mas lalo akong naiinis at naguguluhan. Sino ka ba talaga? What have you gone through?

Hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras at binuksan ko ang kasunod na page. The next one is breathtaking. An out-of-this-world sketch. Every detail is realistic that the drawing is pulling you into the page.

A man sitting in a stool beside the window. Sa labas ng bintana ay mga planets at buwan na iba-iba ang kulay. The sky is painted in magenta and tangerine. There were eagles and starships flying beside the moon.

I am tired of isolation. I want to explore outside the windows. Let me take a grasp of fantasy even if it means dying the next day. I want to see what's outside... even for the last time.

Bobo ba siya? What is he saying? Dying the next day? Just because of an accident, it doesn't mean he's forbidden to do anything he wants. He might be disable, but at least try to call for help.

Napakagat-labi ako. I want to be his legs and hand. There is something inside me that wants to be his shield and wings. Let me know you, Mr. PWD, and i'll help you soar the distant sky.

"Alis na tayo, Miss Rodriguez."

"S-sir, would you mind if I stay here late? Ako na ang maglo-lock ng office."

"S-seryoso ka ba diyan, Miss Rodriguez?" Gulat na tanong ni Sir. First time kasi akong nag-approach sa kanya na ako ang magsasara. Seryoso akong tumango at napabuntong-hininga siya.

"Okay, don't stay up too late. Maaga pa tayo bukas."

"Thanks, Sir."

Napagdesisyunan kong bilisan ang pagbasa para masauli ko na sa kanya ang sketchpad before the end of the day. I see there are still two more pages left.

Nakapangalumbaba kong binasa ang nakasulat sa kasunod na page. It's a drawing of a hand in the middle of the ocean. Like a man is drowning.

Can't breathe. Everytime I look at the mirror, regrets are drowning me. I can't swim forward, the ocean is my worst enemy. Everything feels drowning; the air that i'm breathing, the sunrise every morning and those people who are happy-go-lucky. I tried reaching for the horizon, but it never existed. The ocean is far and wide... it is endless, so is the pain.

I pursed my lips. No more mourning, i'm finishing this sketchpad. It's now or never.

The last one... is a huge clock. There is nothing else but a clock. The long hand is pointing at the twelve and the short one is pointing at the six... it's six pm.

Life is a parade towards our death bed. Only those ones who have experienced it would agree with me. Never too late, they say. Everything is late. We have never been early... that's why we chase everything; our dreams, our hope, and our purpose. We only realized that we're on the right time when we stopped running and take a deep breath before saying goodbye. Goodbye to the dreams we never fulfill, hope that we never found, and our purpose that never existed.

Good bye to those people who acted they care for me and people who purposely been mean to me.

Good bye? This PWD is insane more than I thought. Don't tell me he's giving up? Hindi ako makapaniwalang umiling at pilit na tumawa.

Natigilan lang ako when I spotted something on the back part of the sketchpad.

This is Walter Holloway saying goodbye.

Walter Holloway? I've heard it before. It's so familiar. I think I have uttered his name before.

"Walter Holloway... Walter Holloway..."

Inuulit-ulit ko ang pangalan niya habang sine-search ko siya gamit ang laptop ko. I can't exactly remember kung sino si Walter Holloway... ewan, nasa dulo na ng dila ko.

I entered his name on the search box. I played with my fingers as I wait for the results to load.

And there I have it...

I let out a chuckle. I am in disbelief. Is he for real? Is he really 'that' Walter Holloway?

"Oh my god. What happened?"

Walter Holloway is well-known for his talent and skills. He's a professional athlete and a band member. He came from a family of world-class business tycoon. He had been proven to be very competitive even in small things. He's a bachelor and most famous among women. Walter Holloway's whereabouts is currently unknown and was last seen back in 2012.

2012? It's 2016... so he was in an accident four years ago?

I looked at his picture and my hand couldn't help itself to touch the laptop's screen.

No one would ever think that the PWD in the coffee shop is a world-class athlete and a famous cover singer. The photo was took back in 2003. He's so young. Those graün eyes and little moles on his face and neck is a proof how handsome he is even without make-up. He's not smiling and his side fringe raven black hair made him look even more manlier.

"Walter Holloway... he's the one? He's the one who helped me?"