[Xylandria's POV]
I'm speechless. Nakaawang ang labi ko at nagdadalawang-isip kung ano ang mga eksaktong salita ang maaari kong sabihin.
Tiningnan ko si Miss Montivano at magkasalubong ang kanyang kilay. Mukhang hinihintay niya ang sasabihin ko.
"N-no, Ma'am. There are no what if's, there are no such negative things that I would overthink because I am absolutely not in love with your nephew." Makatwirang iling ko. Naghaharumentado ang puso ko habang nakatitig ako nang maigi sa mga mata ni Miss Montivano.
"Sumunod ka sa akin," tumayo ito at nagsimula nang maglakad kaya tumalima ako. Lumabas kami ng café at tumayo sa may parking space. Nakahalukipkip na tumingin siya sa akin. I don't have any idea what she's planning to do.
"Do you see him?" Tanong niya sa akin bago tumingin sa Sky Autumn na kaharap lang namin.
Napakagat ako ng pang-ibabang labi nung makita si Walter. Hindi ito nagdo-drawing at panay ikot ng kanyang tingin sa loob ng café. Maya-maya pa ay bumuntong-hininga siya bago kinuha ang mechanical pen niya sa loob ng bulsa at nagsimula nang gumuhit sa kanyang sketch pad. I know it sounds assuming, but I think he's looking for me. I have the damn urge to run inside Sky Autumn and sit with him like what I do everyday.
"Xylandria, I have some questions to ask and all you have to answer is either yes or no." Tumango ako.
"Do you feel comfortable sitting with my nephew?"
"Yes."
"Are you happy when you're with him?" Absolutely.
"Yes."
"Do you want to see him happy?"
"Yes."
"You're going to choose Walter rather than dozens of your suitor?"
"Yes."
"Would you stop seeing him?"
"No." Biglang nanikip ang dibdib ko sa tanong niya. It's just a simple question but it brought stress to my nerves.
"Will you sing with him... again?"
"Yes," if I have the chance.
Bumuntong-hininga si Miss Montivano matapos kong masagot ang lahat ng katanungan niya.
"Have you noticed how Walter created a great impact in your life?"
"Of course, after all he's the one who gave me confidence. Walter is my guiding light." Tumitig siya sa akin at umiwas din ng tingin.
"Hindi ko kayang pilitin ka na buksan ang mga mata mo para makita ang totoo mong naramdaman para sa pamangkin ko, pero habang mas maaga pa ay idistansya mo nang kaunti ang sarili mo sa kanya." Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Are you forbidding me to see him?"
"No, i'm not. I just want you to stay out of the line. Kapag araw-araw at palagi kayong magkasama ay masasanay kayo sa isa't isa."
"What's wrong with it? It's not like we're both leaving."
"It's not about it. Ayokong mahulog ang loob ng pamangkin ko sayo. You're admirably gorgeous and smart kaya hindi magtatagal ay tiyak kong mahuhumaling sa iyo si Walter tapos ikaw ay hahanap ng isang lalaking hindi mapeklat ang mukha at hindi nakaupo sa wheelchair. Even if you're in love with him, you will find someone... better. You'll soon be married with someone else leaving my nephew hanging. Ayokong masaktan siya... I don't want any of you to get hurt."
Napayuko ako sa sinabi niya at hindi makaimik. I think she's right. I don't want Walter to get hurt too.
.
Napakunot ang noo ko nung makita ang mga magulang ko sa loob ng aking bahay. Napapadalas yata ang pagbisita nila sa akin.
"Why are you guys here? Hindi ba't may lakad kayo papuntang Budapest bukas?" Mahigpit akong napahawak sa bag ko nung tumayo sila ni Mom at seryoso akong tiningnan.
"Rosalie told us something about between you and Walter. Kaya pala araw-araw kang pumupunta sa kapehan na iyun ay para makita si Walter? You're also sharing a table with him?" Hindi naman ako nag-deny.
"Oo, I can see nothing wrong with it."
"Mahal mo ba siya, Xylandria?"
"No, Dad! Ilang beses niyo nang tinanong sa akin yan. Kahit si Miss Montivano ay pinipilit akong ipaamin. I don't love Walter, I am not in love with Walter!" Naghaharumentado ang puso at hindi maiwasang tumaas ang boses ko. I had enough of this. Kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan ay hindi ko talaga masasabi na mahal ko si Walter.
"Then why are you always with him?"
"Cause I love being around him, not because I love him! Komportable at masaya ako kapag kasama siya."
Unti-unting lumambot ang ekspresyon ng mga magulang ko especially yung kay Dad. It made me breathe easier and I really have a feeling that they finally understand me now.
"Xylandria... that's love." Napaestatwa ako. Mas lumakas pa ang pagpintig ng puso ko sa sinambit ni Dad.
"You're in love with him. You just don't exactly know what love is... you've never been in love before, that's why."
Umiling ako. No, that's... impossible. Napahagulgol ako sa hindi malamang dahilan. Sinabunutan ko ang sarili at panay pa rin ang iling ko. I can't love him... I just couldn't. I can't imagine a future with him.
"T-this is a mistake."
"No, Andria, it's not a mistake. Starting tomorrow, ayaw ko nang pumunta ka ng Sky Autumn o makipagkita kay Walter." Bumuhos ang mga luha ko at biglang sumakit ang aking dibdib sa mga matigas na bilin si Dad.
"No, you can't do this!" Umaalingawngaw sa buong bahay na sigaw ko. Namumula na ang buong mukha ko dahil sa paghagulgol ko.
"Hindi mo ako mapipigilan, Dad. I'm going to see Walter whatever it takes. I'll risk anything! Hindi mo ako mailalayo kay Walter!" Lumapit si Dad sa akin at hinawakan ako sa magkabilang braso. Humihikbing tinitigan niya ako gamit ang mga mapupungay niyang mga mata.
"Can you hear yourself, Andria? You'll risk anything, yet you said you're not in love with him. Stop fooling yourself." Nalaglag ang panga ko at natigilan. Napaupo ako sa sahig at unti-unti nang kumalma ngunit panay tulo pa rin ng mga luha ko.
"Hindi ka namin pipigilan ng Dad mo. If you're in love with him, go ahead... but I think you and Rosalie already talked about that. Pwede mo siyang makita but you still need to keep distance. Huwag mong pahirapan ang sarili mo. Lahat ng family members ni Walter ay kitang-kita ang mga pagmamahal sa mga mata mo tuwing tumitingin ka sa kanya."
"I'm happy for you, at last you finally find someone you could give your love to... but i'm worried for your future, Andria. He's a PWD, he can't offer everything you need."
Tumatango-tango lang ako at tahimik na nakikinig sa kanila. Ang sakit isipin na mahal ko siya and I know it has something to do with his condition. You're in love with someone and if they will love you back, it's doesn't mean it's happy ending. This is reality, not another Walt Disney's story. My decisions should be practical.
BINABASA MO ANG
Teardrops on a Sketch Pad
Storie d'amore[COMPLETED] Xylandria Rodriguez, the most gorgeous woman alive who consider things worthy if it possesses beauty. Her ideology took a huge turn after picking up a forgotten sketch pad owned by a world-class athlete, Walter Holloway, who is now stuck...
