A Court of Souls and Shadows

26. Azriel

Pain exploded through my back and wings, but the only thing I could focus on was the woman beneath me. The tremors had escalated so quickly, and when I'd seen the tree begin to fall behind her, I didn't stop to think. I rushed towards Raven, throwing my body over hers just in time, before the giant tree fell on top of us, landing across my back with a thundering crack.

I groaned in pain as I dug my hands into the dirt beside Raven's face, forcing my back to hold up the weight, to stop the tree from crushing us both. My ears were ringing, and I could hear panicked shouts coming from all directions, but when I looked into those icy-blue eyes, everything else seemed to fade away.

Raven stared up at me, her eyes wide with panic. "Azriel," she croaked. "Azzy. You're hurt." Tears began to streak down her cheeks as she stared up at me, reaching up with her hand to lightly touch the side of my face. I gritted my teeth together as the weight of the tree pressed down on me.

"I'm fine, baby," I whispered. "You need to get out while I can still hold it."

"No," she bit back at me. "I'm not going without you."

I forced my eyes open to look at her. "Will you just do as you're told for once," I snapped. Raven smiled sadly and leant up to cup my face with both of her hands. "No," she whispered, before brushing her lips over mine. I felt the hot tears stream down my face as I kissed her back fiercely.

"Please, baby," I begged her. "For me." She held my face in her hands, resting her forehead against mine. I felt the words on the tip of my tongue. I love you I love you I love you. I wanted so badly to say them.

Raven pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I will get you out of this," she promised, before shimmying out from under me. I almost collapsed right then from the relief. She sprung to her feet, pushing at the trunk of the tree, furiously trying to relieve some of the weight.

"Help me!" She screamed. "Somebody help me!"

My vision started to blur as pain splintered across my wings, and my arms started to buckle at the elbows. "Hold on!" Raven screamed. "Don't you dare give up on me, Azriel!"

I gritted my teeth and focused on her face. Her beautiful, beautiful face, twisted in panic and straining as she pushed at the giant tree pressing down on my body. All at once, Cassian was there, then Drusus and Nesta. Their shouts blended together as they pushed. My body started to give way just as they managed to lift it, and Raven tugged on my body, pulling me from beneath the tree. It crashed to the ground and splintered into pieces, missing my feet by mere inches.

Raven's face filled my vision as she bent over me, her breathing ragged. She threw her body over mine, gripping my sides and sobbing, burying her face into my neck. I lifted my arms weakly to hold her close to me, breathing in her snow and wildflower scent. "You are so stupid," she hissed out between sobs. "I'm so mad at you."

"Be mad at me later," I said, my voice coming out as a rasp. "Please." I gripped her as tight as I could, my body screaming in protest. My wings felt like they were on fire. Drusus gently pulled Raven from my body, and I wished I could punch him in the face for taking her away.

"He needs a Healer, Ray," he said to her, holding onto her shoulders. She nodded and turned, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder. I wanted to scream. She's mine she's mine she's mine. But I couldn't move. My chest felt heavy, and my breathing was ragged.

"Don't take her away," I gasped. And then Cassian was there. "She's not going anywhere, brother," he said softly, his eyes accessing my body.

"How bad is it?" I bit out between clenched teeth. "Just tell me."

Cassian sucked in a sharp breath. "Fuck," I muttered, trying to push myself up. Cassian pressed down on my shoulders. "Don't try and get up," he said. "We need to wait for a Healer."

"My wings," I croaked. "Tell me."

Cassian grimaced. "They're completely buckled," he said. "But Madja has seen worse. We will fix this."

"None of you can winnow," I said, feeling hopeless. All I wanted was Raven and I couldn't move.

"Ares can," Cassian said. "Drew is flying back for him now. We've got your back, brother."

I managed a weak nod, before squeezing my eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. "Raven," I whispered.

"She's still here," Cassian said. "She's helping Nesta with Elain."

Elain. Fuck. I had forgotten about her completely. As soon as the ground had started to shake, I hadn't even thought about why it was happening. My eyes had immediately searched for Raven, to make sure she was okay. I had tunnel vision in her presence. Everything else slowed, all that mattered was her.

"I know you're not in the state for a lecture, but you need to tell her, man," Cassian said. I forced my eyes open to look at him.

"Tell her what?"

"That you love her, dumbass," Cassian said, rolling his eyes.

"She knows how much I care about her."

"No, she doesn't," Cassian replied. "You're hurting her."

I shut my eyes and swallowed thickly. I'd fucked everything up. Why hadn't I just told her? Why was it so hard? Love was supposed to make everything simple, wasn't it?

Ares arrived with Drusus, and Cassian began barking orders. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit down on my bottom lip as Drusus began reinforcing my wings the best he could with bandages, but we hadn't brought enough. It would have to be enough to hold them together while Ares winnowed us back to Velaris. I heard arguing and opened my eyes enough to see Raven in a heated argument with Ares.

"I'm going with you!" She demanded. "I'm not leaving him!"

"I'm not as strong as Azriel," Ares said softly, holding her shoulders to try to calm her down. I wanted to break his arms for even touching her. "I can only take one," he continued, "I'm sorry, Raven." She shoved his hands from her body, rushing to my side. She knelt beside me and cupped my face, stroking my cheek gently with her thumb.

"I can't come with you," she said softly. "I'm sorry." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "It's okay, Snowflake," I whispered. "Don't worry about me."

"Shut up," she hissed. I smiled and reached for her hand, gripping it as tightly as I could.

"I have to take him now," Ares said, tugging at Raven's arm. She shoved him away. "Give me a minute," she barked at him, turning back to look at me. She pressed a soft kiss to my lips, before resting her forehead against mine.

"I love you," I whispered.

Ares pulled her body from mine, and then everything went dark as he winnowed me away. I wanted to scream, to rip myself from his grip and go back. He'd taken me away before she could say it back. Did she say it back? Did she say it back?