A Court of Souls and Shadows

23. Azriel/Raven

AZRIEL

I stuck to the edges of the room, giving Kallias and Raven their privacy as they talked for an hour or so. The way Raven's face lit up as they talked set off sparks within my heart. Her happiness meant everything to me. Kallias' mate, Vivanne, had already retired to their suite to give the siblings privacy, but there was no way I was going to leave Raven alone. Even though I knew she could protect herself, the need I felt to stay and look out for her was overwhelming. The pull I felt towards her was unlike anything I had ever felt with another female. It was how I was sure it was love - pure, blinding love that consumed every part of me. It was like all who came before her didn't even exist anymore. She was it for me. I didn't know how else to explain it. Or how I would even begin to tell her - if I even should. There had been so many moments between us where I was sure she felt the way that I did, but had I been reading into things? Seeing things that way simply because that's the way I wanted them to be?

Kallias' voice broke me out of my trance. "You know you always have a home at the Winter Court, if you need it," he said in a low tone, his eyes flicking to me briefly before looking back at his sister. I frowned as I watched Raven throw her arms around him, before saying goodbye to him for the night. She was by my side a moment later.

"Everything okay?" I asked her, trying to shake off the tiny bit of irritation that Kallias' comment had sparked within me. She didn't need a home in the Winter Court. Her home was in Velaris. With me.

"Yes," Raven said with a small smile. She looked as though she was in an almost dream-like state. "For the first time in a long time, actually," she sighed happily, "it finally feels like things are okay." I smiled back at her as we made our way further into the palace, back towards the suites that had been provided for our Court.

"Is that stupid, considering everything that's going on?" She asked me, her steps slowing. I stopped to face her in the empty hallway.

"It's not stupid at all," I said, reaching forward to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. She shuddered slightly under my touch. "You're allowed to let yourself be happy, you know," I continued, "you deserve it."

She smiled in response and reached out to tug on my hand, leading us the rest of the way to our suites. I tried not to tense under her touch. I felt like I was on fire, every part of me burning where her skin met mine.

We stopped in front of the door of the room I would be sharing with Cassian. I pushed on the door, about to say goodbye to Raven for the night, when I caught a glimpse of Cassian's bare ass. He started shouting obscenities at me as I quickly pulled the door shut. Raven covered her mouth with her hands as she started giggling.

"Looks like Cass has company," she said between laughs, waggling her eyebrows suggestively at me. I laughed and ran a hand over my face. "Looks like I'm crashing with Rhys and Feyre then," I said. "I'm sure they'll love that." Raven laughed and tugged at my hand again. "Don't be stupid," she said, "you'll stay with me! I have a whole room to myself."

I sucked in a sharp breath but forced my face to remain neutral, nodding and following her further up the hall to her suite. I watched her start to gather her night clothes from her bag when I realised I didn't have any of my things with me.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath, running a hand through my already messed-up hair. Raven looked up from her bag to where I was leaning against the desk on the other side of the room. "What's wrong?" She asked me.

"All of my stuff is in the room with Cassian, and I don't think I'm getting in there any time soon," I grimaced.

"What have you got on under your armour? Can't you just sleep in that?"