A Court of Souls and Shadows

36. Raven

My hands smashed into the training pads Trajen held in his hands. He absorbed the impact, as I continued to lay into him, one fist after the other. It felt so good to be training again. Trajen was one of the soldiers that Kallias had assigned to lead me through some training exercises. Now that I was fully healed and walking normally without assistance, I didn't need Finn to hang around all the time, and he had been returned to his regular duties. Trajen was a huge male, with thick, corded muscles covered in pale skin. His light brown curls were such a jarring contrast to the harsh contours of his face. A thin scar slashed through his left eyebrow, drawing even more attention to his honey-coloured eyes. They reminded me so much of Azriel's. I took in a sharp breath as I continued the exercises he had laid out for me, reaching the end of our first session covered in sweat. Trajen pulled off the punching pads and dropped them to the floor, clapping me on the back.

"You did well today, Princess," he said, a genuine smile crossing his face and causing his two dimples to appear. Trajen was such a strange mix of intimidating and adorable that I didn't quite know how to take him.

"I thought we talked about calling me Princess," I grumbled, pulling the strapping from my hands that had been protecting my knuckles. Trajen laughed and nudged me in the shoulder. "Whatever you say, Princess," he teased, his eyes crinkling at the corners as his smile widened. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the weapons rack, picking up a sword. It was smaller than the Illyrian blades I was so used to working with, but I would make do. I needed to do this. I needed to be strong again. I needed to do this so that I could turn my feelings off and just focus on killing something. I couldn't allow myself to wallow in my heartbreak for a moment longer. My anger was the only way out.

I turned back to Trajen, shivering in the Winter Court air, despite the sweat that covered my body. The training rings were situated in an open courtyard within the palace. The palace opened up into the space like an atrium, but instead of plants, the space was filled with two large training rings and fitted out with various weapons. The ceiling was completely open, leaving the space exposed to the bitter winds of the Winter Court. I wore only a light, long-sleeved shirt over my fleece-lined leggings. I should have thrown on a sweater, but I had wanted the freedom to move my upper body without bulky clothing weighing me down. My eyes flicked over to the sound of hushed conversation coming from the training ring adjacent to ours. Two soldiers were huddled together, clearly gossiping about something.

I looked back at Trajen, raising my eyebrows at him in question. "What's all that about?" I asked him, tracing patterns in the snow at my feet with my sword. Trajen chuckled under his breath as he crossed to the weapons rack behind me, selecting a blade. "Probably the same thing everyone else is talking about right now," he said, selecting his blade and flicking it back and forth in his hands. I placed a hand on my hip. "Which is?"

Trajen rolled his eyes and laughed again, running a hand through his light brown curls. "Some idiot has been freezing his ass off on the palace steps all day over some girl, apparently," he said, rolling his eyes again. "Love drives people insane, I swear," he added. My breath caught in my throat at his admission, my traitorous heart accelerating with the hope that it could be Azriel. But of course it wasn't. It couldn't be.

"Are they going to make him move?" I asked conversationally, shifting my weight between my feet. "Don't know," Trajen said with a shrug, "Apparently he is refusing to move until he sees her. Crazy bastard."

I forced a laugh and let the conversation drop, as we got started on our last sparring session. An hour later, I was exhausted and ready to go to sleep for the remainder of the afternoon. I said goodbye to Trajen and the other two soldiers in the ring, before heading deeper into the palace to my room to take a long bath.