nevertheless~

part 35

TESSA'S POV

Hardin opened up to me and that's all I needed to know; to know, that he loved me too. We don't need those words at this point. These small revelations, big talks, and emotional guidance we give each other are enough.

Right now, with his one hand over my thigh, and his head on my shoulder, tiny whispers of nothingness sounding in my ear, as he sleeps and murmurs. I didn't know he had such a tough family background, I can only imagine a barely 8-year-old kid, having to take care of his newborn brother, as he sees his parents get divorced, parents who were once so deeply in love with each and then fell out of it. It must have shattered him to find out that his mother cheated on his father.

I see why he doesn't trust his mother now. It's very clear why he doesn't trust Ken. He thinks Ken's drinking made Trish want to seek comfort with some other man. He is not wrong, it may have been, but that's not a justifiable reason to cheat. She had a family of her own, with a man she loved, she had Hardin, who loved her, and Smith on the way, why didn't she try then? Who just, gives up on a family, they made with love and so much compassion? How?

So, Hardin giving Ken a chance, now, after so many years with Smith, is him allowing his father to redeem himself, to make a man out of himself that he couldn't make then when Trish and he were still together. Trish is a real bitch for leaving Ken and Hardin for Sebastian's money. How come money is greater to her than a family? It's good that she is no longer a part of Hardin's life and she has completely erased herself from his life, If I were Hardin, I would never be able to have a relationship with someone like that, I would run away, which is partly why he ran away with Smith at such a young age and had to let go of his mother, who wanted nothing to do with them.

But how true is it that I say, that I cannot have a relationship with someone like Trish, but I have my mother? She is the same. She wants me to marry Zed because he is the richer of the guys in the Seattle suburb, she lives. She doesn't know about Hardin, yet. I can't bring myself to tell her that, she would freak out and it would give me only more and more bruises.

"Why are you thinking so loudly?", a voice breaks my depressing thoughts and I look sideways to find Hardin, looking at me with his beautiful piercing green eyes.

"What?", I ask, monotone.

"You're thinking something very depressing; I can feel it from here", he says, and I look away, not being able to handle his gaze on me. It's physically difficult to look at him for longer than 1 minute, without smiling like an idiot or pulling his face to kiss him. He is just that, beautiful, and all mine.

"I was thinking about my mother, and some stuff. How did you sleep?"

"I slept alright"

"Alright? My shoulder fucking hurts. Is your chin made of metal?", I push his face, jerking my shoulder upward and he sits up straight.

"Awh, want a massage or something?", he teases me.

"Shut up, it actually hurts, your head is heavy, it's all stone up here", I knock my knuckles on his forehead thrice to prove my point.

"Come here", he pulls me nearer, as if we weren't just sitting beside each other and takes my shoulders in the grasp of his hands and pressed down.

"Did Lunch come and go?"

"Lunch? It's about to be dinner. We are gonna land in 4 hours", I answer back to him, my eyes shutting as he applies more pressure to the points that need some care. It feels good.

"Shit, I slept too much, didn't I? Did you sleep at all?", he asks.

"A little lower", I tell his hands to move and he does, "Yeah, I slept after I checked on you, I had to make one more change in my notes and I did that and then I slept."